Southern grocer tells shoppers "Hell has open borders"

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/02/12/southern-grocer-tells-shoppers.html

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I’m betting his selection of halal and kosher foods is terrible, but he carries the whole line of Old ElPaso taco products.

ETA that it’s been a really long time since I read The Divine Comedy, but my memory is that all of Dante’s divine geography was bounded by natural obstacles- woods, deserts, rivers, mountains, celestial spheres and so on. The only wall I remember is the one that surrounds the infernal city of Dis, but I’m prepared to be proved wrong. Paradiso was the dullest of the three books and I mostly skimmed it. No doubt that’s a harbinger of things to come.

proofreading, ugh.

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Are Heaven’s inhabitants able to look outside the wall? Can you see Hell from there?

Will you know that your friends, loved ones, or even strangers are in Hell? Will you just not care? If not, is that because the caring has been removed for you? Or is it that the knowing has been removed for you?

Seriously, now, why would you want to go to Heaven?

Asking for a fiend.

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“Hell has open borders”

If he’s going to invoke a fantasy land in a political statement on a sales flyer, he should at least try to stay canon.

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Great, the one place you can still find a decent bookshop…

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As far as my admittedly poor recollection of the Bible goes, the answers are:

  1. What wall? Entry to heaven is not precluded by a physical barrier.
  2. Maybe, who knows? Why would you want to? (see following answers)
  3. Probably not.
  4. You probably won’t care
  5. It would seem so
  6. Maybe.
  7. You won’t. That’s a serious answer since the Bible seems to state that what ends up going to heaven is so far removed from anything one could consider a human being let alone the person you were while alive that it’s all fairly moot.

Well quite. As I understand it, if you’ve been a good little believer, you cannot go to Hell even if you want to. That’s assuming you believe Hell is an actual place rather than a condition.

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He is allowed to put that on his flyers. and I am allowed to think he’s a fucking asshole.

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Strikes me as kind of blasphemous actually.

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Doesn’t Hell have gates and whatnot?

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Did Mexico pay for Heaven’s gate?

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Mordor has walls.

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The “pearly gates” of Heaven are meant to be inspired by Revelation, right?

Revelation 21:25 seems significant in this case: “On no day will its gates ever be shut, for there will be no night there.”

Sounds pretty open-borders to me.

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Yep, you beat me to it. Why have a road paved with good intentions that goes to the gates of hell, and not have any walls on either side of the gates?

This person plainly hasn’t thought about this.

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Yes.

http://www.entrances2hell.co.uk

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“Free your mind and your ass will follow, the Kingdom of Heaven is within.” – Funkadelic

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I know at least one person whose application to emigrate into Heaven will be closely scrutinized and likely rejected.

Trump and Pence’s applications won’t need to be scrutinized – they’re infamous enough that they’ll get sent down as soon as Saint Peter looks at them.

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I am reminded of how Hell was portrayed in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman magnum opus. Especially Sam Keith’s artwork. Even in Dante’s vision, Hell had a wall and a gate, and only admitted those who freely said they were beyond redemption. I even found an image of it online:

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Whole Boneless Pork Loin for $1.37 a pound? OK, maybe I was tempted, but the 2500 mile ride to get it is a deal breaker…

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There are 17 Mac’s Fresh Markets throughout Arkansas, Mississippi, and Louisiana … Reggie McDaniel owns the Mac’s chain…

And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. – Matthew 19:24

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In Christian tradition Heaven has a wall and a gate, but is that actually anywhere in the Bible?

Anyway, you could counter this with “Heaven is open to all who follow the rules, one of which is doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, and caring for the poor and hungry (Matthew 25:35.)” So then by not helping the destitute from Mexico you are keeping yourself from getting into Heaven.

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