Sperm extraction machine yours for $13,000

And no porn or anything? Do you just stare determinedly ahead while thinking about the preservation of your family line?

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“There’s no way in hell I’m putting my thing in that thing.”

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Finally, a way to get millennials to gamble.

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[Runs to patent office]

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Wasn’t this part of the plot twist in A Boy and his Dog?

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Is there an emergency stop button within reach?

“Jane, stop this crazy thing!”

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Damn it! Screwed again!

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Hell, I’ll do it for considerably less…

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https://daimaoh.co.jp/item95.html

NSFW NSFW NSFW :skull_crossbones:

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“Revorution”.

And now I know what you get when you cross a sex toy with a sewing machine.

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For ¥19,800, you have to settle for some misspellings. And odd ergonomics. Or, you could date humans.

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Oh I know - just given the r/l stereotype, the joke basically writes itself.

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I’m not quite comfortable with this idea. Besides the obvious hygiene/multiple user issue, have you ever sat in one of those Chinese made massage chairs. Not exactly comfortable. Definitely not relaxing. And my first thought wouldn’t be “Oh wow, if only they made a version of this delightful bit of technology that I could entrust with my dong!”

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He deserves that for applying defibrillator paddles to someone’s stomach.

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If you were intrigued by that shot, you are in for a treat!

Do they make a homosexual version?
Simulate the anal cavity and with male groaning .

On the way in to work I realized John Henry died beating the machine and passed his hammer on to his wife.

"early next morning she said come here. Billy Bob, come here sugar, ya know I believe this is the first time I ever watched the sun come up that I couldn’t come up with it

"Take my lube, Billy Bob and go to that sperm bank, jack them like you seen me do it, and when you’re jacking with the lead men, they’ll all know, they’ll all know your Jane Henry’s man, but tell them that’s not all I can do…

With this kind of technology, why stop at just a butt? In the glorious future of robotic sperm extraction, your choices of orifice are only limited by your own imagination!

Why not select a shark vagina?

Or a werewolf muzzle?

Too toothy? Ok, maybe a friendly dragon muzzle?

Or maybe a female husky? We at SpermCo won’t judge.

(all pictures courtesy of Bad Dragon)

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In the video, the inventor is shown inserting (hehehe) the nubbed sleeve into the outer tube then screwing (hehehe) on a retaining collar. So I would assume that the sleeves are disposable and a new one is used with each patient.

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Can I get a freaking laser beam on that one? Asking for a friend.

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