Stoned man who called 911 found surrounded by junk food


#1

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#2

For some reason I’m reminded of a roommate from 1000 years ago - we both worked in the same grocery store - and this call took place while I was still at work one night:
Him - Mike, what’s up?
Me - Nothing, what’s going on?
Him - Can you bring home some of those Mother’s cookies… Beavis laugh follows.
Me - Which kind?
Him - Those ones in the bag, I think.
Me - Circus animals? the iced ones?
Him - YEA! Beavis laughing continues till I hang up. :slight_smile:


#3

You’re a good friend. You knew exactly which cookies he was talking about.


#4

That sounds exactly like me on the devil’s weed. Man that stuff breaks me into little hungry miserable bits. Except I doubt I could find a phone through the tunnel I watch through.


#5

Many moons ago, I had visitors at the house and my buddy and I drove down to the harbor to purchase a whole salmon to throw on the grill. During the drive we enjoyed a sizeable joint, and by the time we reached the docks, everything was A-OK. The swarthy gentlemen selling salmon from the huge 10x10 container asked us what sized fish we were looking to purchase, and after we stared, blankly, at him for a time (bruh–do we get like 100 lb. fish?!? No, no bruh, like 20 lbs will do, right? etc.), he yelled at us, “The price is going up, fellas!”

We bought a 60 lb fish and were heroes for the evening.


#6

Ha hahaha! This is like a Bloom County strip.


#7

Once, a long time ago, whilst enjoying the camping facilities at T in the Park I made the unfortunate mistake of sampling the Reapers Skull bong that the very young people in the next tent over had offered me.
After violently coughing for what I was later assured was at least 20 minutes and then finally catching my breath I lay back on the ground, only to discover that the only parts of my body that were reporting any sensation to my brain were my left big toe, a small patch on my right shoulder blade, my forehead and my left testicle.
I’ve never again been so high in all my life and I have tried.


#8

When stoned, these make dreams come true.


#9

I’m not even stoned and those would make my dreams come true.


#10

“Too high”? And he didn’t just fall asleep? What the heck kinda strain was he doing, anyhow? I mean, with all that refined sugar and crap running through his system…http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacobsullum/2013/10/16/research-shows-cocaine-and-heroin-are-less-addictive-than-oreos/

I know it’s hard to get the munchies and not want to chow down on junk food, but it would behoove us to try keep healthier sweets and such around the house. Why should I smoke pot for my mental health (depression), then turn around and hurt my body with crap food?

Turning 50 sure makes one think about such things…


#11

It’s at least partially learned behavior. I don’t get the munchies much anymore, but when I do, and I’m home, my go-to munchie is roasted root vegetables. Just the right mix of sweet, salty, and crunchy. Plan ahead and you can eat healthy all the time. I seldom keep chips/crisps in the house, because I know I’ll eat them. :grinning:


#12

I tend to bake - brownies, cake, or cookies - from scratch. Do you make the roasted-roots at home; is there a recipe for them.

And yes, it’s definitely learned behavior to choose particular prepackaged foods, as well as a matter of lowered blood sugar too, right?


#13

Yeah, I cook and bake a lot too, when I have time. Come join us in the cooking thread!

I usually buy raw root veggies in a bag at Trader Joe’s, then customize it for my tastes. The bag mix has potatoes, onions, garlic, parsnips, and butternut squash. I’m a fiend for sweet potatoes and carrots so I usually add them. I coat them with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and roast them at 425 for 30-40 minutes in the oven or 20-30 minutes on the grill. I usually let it go long enough that the edges get crispy. It’ll keep in the refrigerator for a week or so, not that that ever happens around here. It’s good cold with a splash of balsamic vinegar or a sprinkle of Parmesan if you want to change it up a little.


#14

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