Stonehenge’s altar stone was carried all the way from north-east Scotland. But how? (wrong answers only)

Transporting a six-tonne megalith nearly 500 miles to Wiltshire is quite a feat. How was it achieved 4,000 years ago?

Sat 17 Aug 2024 02.00 EDT

Even by “modern” standards, John o’Groats to Wiltshire is a bit of a trek: nearly 500 miles, 13 hours by car or a 10-day walk – and that is without having a six-tonne block of stone in tow. So the revelation this week that Stonehenge’s altar stone came from the north-east of Scotland prompts the question of how on earth this feat was achieved more than 4,000 years ago.

[sarcastic quotes ⇑ and bracketed material ⇓ added]

“When you’re trying to move something weighing six tonnes in excess of 750km, it is an enormous undertaking,” said Prof Nick Pearce, a geologist [working the interdisciplinary angle from the Department of Understatement] at Aberystwyth University and the co-author of the research.

ETA: directional arrows added for clarity

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Obelix1

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That’s too easy. They broke the stone into smaller pieces for transport and then reassembled it on site. Who is they, you ask? Well, I’m not saying it was aliens…

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Obvious answer is obvious.

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After building the Giant’s Causeway Irish giants had a direct route to Scotland. Would have been pretty easy to ask one of them who holidayed there to pop down to Wiltshire with a pebble in their pocket

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Well, it was the Swedish, obviously.

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Alternatively, blow up Scottish bagpipes into a hot air balloon and float it down?

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It had to have been Nessie. Domesticated long enough to lug the stone to England before being rewilded in Loch Ness.

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It’s a trick question. No one carried it. It got really drunk and wandered off.

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More research is needed: what drink?

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The stone wasn’t moved. Instead the stone stayed where it was and the rest of Scotland was carried north by the Picts

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Irn-bru

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The English, always stealing Scotland’s stones!

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… but the bird would have to be uh… like… a lot bigger?

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“African swallow or European swallow?”

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Probably more like Buckfast.

Actually, new theory: some Scots went on a run for supplies to Buckfast Abbey and had to leave behind their lucky stone to make more room.

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IKEA__Accidentally summoning The Old Ones

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Ian Hamilton, Gavin Vernon, Kay Matheson and Alan Stuart had a reunion and decided to put a twist on their previous exploits?

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