"Sudo make me a sandwich": nerdier punchlines for a very nerdy XKCD

[GilbertWham]

Your sandwich has been eaten by a Grue.

[Jorpho]

xkcdsw.com (derived from a forum thread) already covered a lot of this.

[anon33466019]

[tachin1]

Am I doing this right?

[anon33466019]

Have you tried an

apt-get install sudo ham dough-ball 
mod_cheez veggie-lite mooseturd

?

[renke]

does not work, I tried EVERYTHING

[root@autsch ~]# apt-get install sudo ham dough-ball mod_cheez veggie-lite mooseturd -bash: apt-get: command not found [root@autsch ~]# dnf install apt-get Last metadata expiration check performed 0:08:07 ago on Mon Oct 19 18:10:28 2015. No package apt-get available. Error: Unable to find a match. [root@autsch ~]# FUUUUUU -bash: FUUUUUU: command not found [root@autsch ~]# alias apt-get=dnf [root@autsch ~]# apt-get install sudo ham dough-ball mod_cheez veggie-lite mooseturd Last metadata expiration check performed 0:08:57 ago on Mon Oct 19 18:10:28 2015. Package sudo-1.8.14p3-1.fc22.x86_64 is already installed, skipping. No package ham available. No package dough-ball available. No package mod_cheez available. No package veggie-lite available. No package mooseturd available. Error: Unable to find a match. [root@autsch ~]# ? -bash: ?: command not found

[anon33466019]

Oh shit, I totes forgot, to get this to work in cygwin on windows we are gonna have to make some registry updates.

REG ADD hklm\hardware\lunch\sammie
/v Data /t REG_BINARY /d deadbeef

Then make sure you open up your local fw to let outgoing requests for condiments hit the cloud Pickle servers.

[anon26940528]

@renke

does not work, I tried EVERYTHING

[root@autsch ~]# apt-get install sudo ham dough-ball mod_cheez veggie-lite mooseturd

-bash: apt-get: command not found

[root@autsch ~]# dnf install apt-get

Last metadata expiration check performed 0:08:07 ago on Mon Oct 19 18:10:28 2015.

No package apt-get available.

Error: Unable to find a match.

[root@autsch ~]# FUUUUUU

-bash: FUUUUUU: command not found

[root@autsch ~]# alias apt-get=dnf

[root@autsch ~]# apt-get install sudo ham dough-ball mod_cheez veggie-lite mooseturd

Last metadata expiration check performed 0:08:57 ago on Mon Oct 19 18:10:28 2015.

Package sudo-1.8.14p3-1.fc22.x86_64 is already installed, skipping.

No package ham available.

No package dough-ball available.

No package mod_cheez available.

No package veggie-lite available.

No package mooseturd available.

Error: Unable to find a match.

[root@autsch ~]# ?

-bash: ?: command not found

“Damnit. Time to use the Ubuntu forums. I hate checking the Ubuntu forums.”

[anon33466019]

This is fast approaching the obvious, inevitable outcome.

Get Linus on the red phone, we need to patch the kernel.

[crenquis]

@doctorow

Make me a sandwich!
What? No!
Sudo make me a sandwich
You are a sandwich.

Just a friendly reminder that Dad Jokes like that have consequences…

^{unicorn via @TobinL gif bank}

[renke]

Linus: “I tried Ubuntu and that got nixed really fast.”

I agree

[OtherMichael]

@stryxvaria

Sandwich Loops

1. Sudo make me a sandwich
2. Eat sandwich
3. Repeat

---

1. sudo make me a sandwich
2. ???
3. PROFIT!!!

---

sumo make me a sandwich

also: https://www.pinterest.com/rosesinister/nom-noms-sumo-make-me-a-sandwich/

[alan_olsen]

“User not is SUDUers file. This attempt will be reported.”

[smilr]

(kitchen:~) smilr% sudo emerge -av sandwhich

These are the packages that would be merged, in order:

Calculating dependencies... done!
[ebuild  N     ] edible-meals/sandwhich-2.10.9-r1::gentoo  USE="knife condiments turkey cheese -mustard -tomato plate" 2,026 KiB
[ebuild  N     ] edible-ingredients/gturkey-3.01.09::gentoo  USE="presliced deli -systemd smoked" 33,241 KiB
[ebuild  N     ] edible-ingredientsg/klettuce-2.7::gentoo  USE="romaine" 1,715 KiB
[ebuild  N     ] edible-ingredients/cheese-5.10.1::gentoo  USE="cheddar swiss -kraft tillamook" 6,227 KiB
[ebuild   R    ] edible-ingredients/qtmayonaisse-0.9-r2::gentoo  USE="-expired -storebought homemade" 12,264 KiB



Total: 5 packages (4 new), Size of downloads: 43,209 KiB

Would you like to merge these packages? [Yes/No] y

[anon33466019]

we are really taking this too far, right? i was thinking about using pig expressions to search for chef recipes, but i forgot to git the blackberry gem out of the freezer to thaw. almost like it was hibernating.

(shoot me, i need help)

[anon26940528]

@japhroaig

we are really taking this too far, right?

You’re not the one who seriously considered taking this to completion by building a sandwich making robot using RasPi.

[anon33466019]

[LDoBe]

I’ll just leave this here:

[silentself666]

ER MAH GERD! SERNDWERCHERS!
(Body is invalid; try to be a little more descriptive)

[silentself666]

You’re in a cave with 20 rooms and 3 tunnels leading from each room.
There are 3 bats and 3 pits scattered throughout the cave, and your
quiver holds 5 custom super anti-evil Wumpus arrows. Good luck.

You are in room 3 of the cave, and have 5 arrows left.
rustle rustle (must be bats nearby)
whoosh (I feel a draft from some pits).
sniff (I can smell the evil Wumpus nearby!)
There are tunnels to rooms 9, 12, and 14.
Move or shoot? (m-s) make me a sandwich
To which room do you wish to move? the kitchen?
To which room do you wish to move? I don’t want to move, just make me a damn sandwich
To which room do you wish to move? To which room do you wish to move? To which room do you wish to move? come on
To which room do you wish to move? sandwich!
To which room do you wish to move? sandwich
To which room do you wish to move? sandwich!
To which room do you wish to move? sandwich or 9
To which room do you wish to move? 9 then
flap flap flap (humongous bats pick you up and move you!)

You are in room 4 of the cave, and have 5 arrows left.
There are tunnels to rooms 2, 13, and 15.
Move or shoot? (m-s)