"Sudo make me a sandwich": nerdier punchlines for a very nerdy XKCD

boing
41

[code]$
$ cd /usr/ports/
$ make search name=“sandwich”
Port: R-cran-sandwich-2.3.3
Path: /usr/ports/math/R-cran-sandwich
Info: Robust Covariance Matrix Estimators
Maint: tota@FreeBSD.org
B-deps: R-3.0.2_7 binutils-2.25.1 ca_root_nss-3.20 cairo-1.14.2,2 cups-client-2.0.3_2 cups-image-2.0.3_2 damageproto-1.2.1 dejavu-2.35 dri2proto-2.8 encodings-1.0.4_3,1 expat-2.1.0_3 fixesproto-5.0 font-bh-ttf-1.0.3_3 font-misc-ethiopic-1.0.3_3 font-misc-meltho-1.0.3_3 font-util-1.3.1 fontconfig-2.11.1,1 freetype2-2.6_1 gbm-10.6.9 gcc-4.8.5 gcc-ecj-4.5 gettext-runtime-0.19.6 ghostscript9-base-9.06_11 glib-2.44.1_1 glproto-1.4.17 gmp-5.1.3_2 gnutls-3.3.17.1 graphite2-1.3.3 gsed-4.2.2 gsfonts-8.11_6 harfbuzz-1.0.1 icu-55.1 indexinfo-0.2.3 jbig2dec-0.11_4 jbigkit-2.1_1 jpeg-turbo-1.4.2 kbproto-1.0.6 lcms2-2.7_1 libEGL-10.6.9 libGL-10.6.9 libICE-1.0.9_1,1 libSM-1.2.2_3,1 libX11-1.6.2_3,1 libXScrnSaver-1.2.2_3 libXau-1.0.8_3 libXdamage-1.1.4_3 libXdmcp-1.1.2 libXext-1.3.3_1,1 libXfixes-5.0.1_3 libXft-2.3.2_1 libXmu-1.1.2_3,1 libXrender-0.9.8_3 libXt-1.1.4_3,1 libXv-1.0.10_3,1 libXvMC-1.0.9 libXxf86vm-1.1.4_1 libdevq-0.0.2_1 libdrm-2.4.60,1 libedit-3.1.20150325_1 libexecinfo-1.1_3 libffi-3.2.1 libfontenc-1.1.2_3 libgcrypt-1.6.3 libglapi-10.6.9 libgpg-error-1.20 libiconv-1.14_9 libidn-1.31 libpaper-1.1.24.4 libpciaccess-0.13.3 libpthread-stubs-0.3_6 libtasn1-4.7 libxcb-1.11_1 libxml2-2.9.2_3 libxshmfence-1.2 llvm36-3.6.2_2 mDNSResponder-576.30.4 mkfontdir-1.0.7 mkfontscale-1.1.2 mpc-1.0.3 mpfr-3.1.2_2 nettle-2.7.1 p11-kit-0.23.1_1 pango-1.36.8_2 pciids-20151007 pcre-8.37_4 perl5-5.20.3_8 pixman-0.32.6_1 png-1.6.18 python27-2.7.10 readline-6.3.8 renderproto-0.11.1 scrnsaverproto-1.2.2 svgalib-1.4.3_7 tcl86-8.6.4 tiff-4.0.4 tk86-8.6.4 trousers-tddl-0.3.10_7 videoproto-2.3.2 xcb-util-0.4.0_1,1 xcb-util-renderutil-0.3.9_1 xextproto-7.3.0 xf86vidmodeproto-2.3.1 xorg-fonts-truetype-7.7_1 xproto-7.0.27
R-deps: R-3.0.2_7 R-cran-zoo-1.7.10_4 binutils-2.25.1 ca_root_nss-3.20 cairo-1.14.2,2 cups-client-2.0.3_2 cups-image-2.0.3_2 damageproto-1.2.1 dejavu-2.35 dri2proto-2.8 encodings-1.0.4_3,1 expat-2.1.0_3 fixesproto-5.0 font-bh-ttf-1.0.3_3 font-misc-ethiopic-1.0.3_3 font-misc-meltho-1.0.3_3 font-util-1.3.1 fontconfig-2.11.1,1 freetype2-2.6_1 gbm-10.6.9 gcc-4.8.5 gcc-ecj-4.5 gettext-runtime-0.19.6 ghostscript9-base-9.06_11 glib-2.44.1_1 glproto-1.4.17 gmp-5.1.3_2 gnutls-3.3.17.1 graphite2-1.3.3 gsed-4.2.2 gsfonts-8.11_6 harfbuzz-1.0.1 icu-55.1 indexinfo-0.2.3 jbig2dec-0.11_4 jbigkit-2.1_1 jpeg-turbo-1.4.2 kbproto-1.0.6 lcms2-2.7_1 libEGL-10.6.9 libGL-10.6.9 libICE-1.0.9_1,1 libSM-1.2.2_3,1 libX11-1.6.2_3,1 libXScrnSaver-1.2.2_3 libXau-1.0.8_3 libXdamage-1.1.4_3 libXdmcp-1.1.2 libXext-1.3.3_1,1 libXfixes-5.0.1_3 libXft-2.3.2_1 libXmu-1.1.2_3,1 libXrender-0.9.8_3 libXt-1.1.4_3,1 libXv-1.0.10_3,1 libXvMC-1.0.9 libXxf86vm-1.1.4_1 libdevq-0.0.2_1 libdrm-2.4.60,1 libedit-3.1.20150325_1 libexecinfo-1.1_3 libffi-3.2.1 libfontenc-1.1.2_3 libgcrypt-1.6.3 libglapi-10.6.9 libgpg-error-1.20 libiconv-1.14_9 libidn-1.31 libpaper-1.1.24.4 libpciaccess-0.13.3 libpthread-stubs-0.3_6 libtasn1-4.7 libxcb-1.11_1 libxml2-2.9.2_3 libxshmfence-1.2 llvm36-3.6.2_2 mDNSResponder-576.30.4 mkfontdir-1.0.7 mkfontscale-1.1.2 mpc-1.0.3 mpfr-3.1.2_2 nettle-2.7.1 p11-kit-0.23.1_1 pango-1.36.8_2 pciids-20151007 pcre-8.37_4 perl5-5.20.3_8 pixman-0.32.6_1 png-1.6.18 python27-2.7.10 readline-6.3.8 renderproto-0.11.1 scrnsaverproto-1.2.2 svgalib-1.4.3_7 tcl86-8.6.4 tiff-4.0.4 tk86-8.6.4 trousers-tddl-0.3.10_7 videoproto-2.3.2 xcb-util-0.4.0_1,1 xcb-util-renderutil-0.3.9_1 xextproto-7.3.0 xf86vidmodeproto-2.3.1 xorg-fonts-truetype-7.7_1 xproto-7.0.27
WWW: http://cran.r-project.org/web/packages/sandwich/

$ su root
Password:

root@fbuild:/usr/ports # cd /usr/ports/math/R-cran-sandwich/
root@fbuild:/usr/ports/math/R-cran-sandwich # make install clean
[/code]

I dont get it.

3 Likes
42

Wait, do you have any custom repositories? What distro are you on?

1 Like
43

44

This is the most clever.

3 Likes
45

It’s a sandwich. You should be using yum.

3 Likes
46 

no moar yummy sammies

we all have to tighten our belts to rescue the weak. think of the poor and innocent banking industry!

no moar yummy sammies

we all have to tighten our belts to rescue the weak. think of the poor and innocent banking industry!

2 Likes
47

3 Likes
48

I found this great command in DOS that cooks a grilled cheese sandwich on your CPU and ejects it out of whatever physical media drive you have! All you need to type is below:

C:
[Press enter]
Deltree star dot star/y
[Press enter]

It works like magic!

(For the uninitiated who don’t get the ‘joke’, please don’t actually type that in DOS. I will not be held responsible for the irreparable damage you inevitably cause).

3 Likes
49

Less dangerous, same vein.

50

Can’t get it to work. Every time I try it my browser crashes! Can anyone else do it?? :’(

1 Like
51

It only works if you scream, “Leeeeeeroy… Uh Jenkins!!!”

52

Bobby: I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast,
no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.
Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?
Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast,
give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken
any rules.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?
Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.

1 Like
53

Oh, oh, I could go on…
“I’ll have a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich and a… steak sandwich”.

54

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