Suggestions for removing "Dildo swiping" turd hats from the Malheur refuge?


#21

Da FUQ?!??!


#22

The FBI said they were there at the invitation of the local Sherriff. Sigh.


#23

I’m not sure if Oregon is punting – it is a federal facility, and thus federal jurisdiction, no?

Although might just means the feds coming in to secure the scene ones the local pacify the savages*.

* as in “fierce, violent, and uncontrolled” or “a member of a people regarded as primitive and uncivilized.”


#24

As far as I’m aware jurisdiction goes to whatever authorities operate in the area. So whatever town or municipality the park is contained in, then the county encapsulating that, and then the state itself. Feds have jurisdiction everywhere. I think all it being a federal park does is give jurisdiction to the US Parks service and their rangers.

Yeah the FBI works on a task force model these days. They typically don’t sweep in and take things over anymore. Unless they have to. So the default is to cooperate with and coordinate the locals.


#25

on federal property, that is not normally accurate. Sorry.

This is not a county park.


#26

Guys, I think I’m going to have to award the victory to the Bundy Clan.

It seems that prior to talking with Ammon Bundy, the FBI negotiator “forgot” that he was supposed to be deputized by Harney County Sheriff Dave Ward. Unfortunately, this throws the credibility of the FBI entirely into question. Next time, dudes. read the Constitution. CHECK AND MATE.


#27

I see they’ve been making outdoor fires.

Seeing as this whole thing started with arson, wouldn’t it be appropriate to fly a helicopter over any open fire they have out there and dump a few hundred gallons of water on those turds? Flush them back into the sewer where they belong? They could probably even do it from a height that keeps them out of range of small arms fire.


#28

[quote=“LDoBe, post:27, topic:72572”]
fly a helicopter over any open fire they have out there and dump a few hundred gallons of water on those turds
[/quote]@FBI @OregonStatePolice Where you at?


#29

There’s probably even a burn-ban. Or if not, it’s usually pretty easy to put one in effect.

“Since we can’t put any firefighters on the ground in Malhuer, we should put a burn ban in effect for public safety. And also drench those shitheads with literally tons of rapidly freezing water.”


#30


#31

They are Posse Comitatus nutcase, they really do believe sheriffs are the only Constitutional form of law enforcement, the Posse Comitatus movement helped to deliver a lot of the dumbest of the far-right militia movement’s many dumb ideas.

I’ve thought about this long and hard for several minutes now. I think if we really want to deal with these people, we need to use psychology. There are two main personality types involved. First there are those who are loud, angry, frustrated hotheads who are much too quick to reach for a gun to settle a dispute. Then there are the dupes whose whole identity is tied to their activity of exploiting natural resources, are also quick to anger, and are usually seen carrying a rifle as a part of their identity. We can label the first group “Yosemite Sams,” and the second “Elmer Fudds.”

Check any of their quotes or written statements using the voice of Yosemite Sam or Elmer Fudd in your head you’d pretty quickly see the universal fit. Most seem to be Yosemite Sams.

Now that we’ve used science to understand them, we can use engineering to deal with them. There’s really only one viable option that comes to mind. Just deliver some rabbits (and potentially black ducks) directly to the facility. In their attempts to shoot/hunt the rabbits/ducks they’ll shoot both one another and themselves and possibly wind up with a piano dropped on their head.


#32

Wow. Fuck these guys. Seriously.


#33

Combine this:

with this:


#34

#35


#36

Delta Force is sent in, with the specification that they can only use garrotes or knives. Their bodies are stuffed down a composting toilet. Fox News Commentators are required to clean up the blood stains as part of their “Community Service” hours.


#37

The hang-up appears to be Bundy’s belief that FBI agents have no standing to deal with the refuge takeover unless they’re deputized by Harney County Sheriff Dave Ward.

Amateurs!! :slightly_smiling:

Militia Negotiation 101! When talking to feds, deploy quirky constitution-y legal arguments to avoid the merits of the issue!

Harney County really needs experienced people who have federal experience and extensive experience dealing with these guys.

I think there’s a retired federal judge in Montana who could head an interagency team and sort this out peacefully.


#38

I wouldn’t be surprised if the “turd hats” are partial to the idea that the current US Government is a for profit corporation run out of Delaware.


#39

#40