I have had about as much of the “Dildo swiping/throwing rebels” as I can stomach at this point, and while doodling over my morning coffee I ended up coming up with a short list of ideas for peacefully removing them from the the Malheur wildlife refuge. Anyone else have any?
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I’ll just start off by adding a few of mine…
- Tempt them off the preserve with the promise of free cows?
- I will personally vouch that love makes you do crazy shit, so why not get some stuff started inside the refuge, wait till they are going at it, and then move in and arrest the fuckers* while they are busy. Peaceful right?
* By this I mean those who fuck or have sex, it is not meant to insult any individual or group
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Honestly if the implication of discrete man cock didn’t work I can’t think of much that won’t encourage them to start shooting. And with the locals, paiute groups, employees, and state of Oregon pushing for intervention it’s becoming less and less tenable to let them keep embarrassing themselves into leaving . So it seems like jacking up the pressure by kettling them with siege tactics is the least bad option.
That is unless we can convince Trump to go full Die Hard on this bitch. 2 birds one stone. Give Donny a wife beater and a roll of duct tape and demand he put his money where his mouth is.
Or maybe:
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Create three star ships. Name them:
- Starship Titanic International Science Research Station
- The Lord’s Liberty Patriot Freedom Rocket
- The Socialist Worker’s Paradise Public Transit of the People
Explain that the Earth will be destroyed by an asteroid. Make sure it’s not just scientists saying this, but also Americans. Bring some very persuasive photos of comets.
Park all three ships near their compound and proceed to load some educated/scientist looking people in 1 (give them some cappuccinos), and begin boarding a multicultural smorgasbord of humanity into 3. Explain that the Federal Government does not have jurisdiction over 2.
Let them take their choice of which ship to board, and once they all pile into 2, close the hatch, lock it, and haul them to jail.
Maybe a little complex, but it would make for great cable news segments.
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Quietly arrest their relatives as accessories.
Cut their services, with a sawzall if needed.
Offer them a fake deal.
Arrest them one by one, and keep the arrested out of the media. Hell, fake social media stories about how they ‘won’.
It’s a castle seige, 101. And I am a bad, morally corrupt person for suggesting this.
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And?
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oh, well, in that case
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was with you until that last step did not involve an airlock.
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Oh, that would be a nice touch.
Alternately, a helicopter lift of the sacrificial vessel to a volcano would make for wonderful stories to tell the grandchildren some day.
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I would approach them with a combination of diplomacy, strong drugs, elaborate pranksterism.
I would make a public show of their victory! Give speeches about their braveness, their resourcefulness, and how the US government was entrusting them with overseeing our nature reserves. Do photo shoots, have parties, and let them feel validated until their collective ego is ready to burst. But then, through party food and drink and maybe a few surreptitious dart guns, knock them all out. When they awaken, they have each been individually let loose at some of the most inhospitable areas of the world to fend for themselves. Enjoy your nature reserves!
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I’m still baffled as to why the admixture of federal, state, and local law enforcement officials can’t seem to prevent the cowphilate from entering and leaving the refuge. Are they trying? Are they even watching who enters and who leaves the place?
Going in guns a’blazin is precisely what these dumbfucks want (or think they want, until the bullets and the flesh starts flying/burning), and once they start down that bloody road, to paraphrase, there ain’t no comin’ back. which reminds me, that dude was in both The Crow, AND that old NYC gang flick!
So it seems to me that arresting them piecemeal is the easiest way to do things.
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It does seem like they could easily arrest any militia member who heads out on their own, but maybe instead of keeping them the Feds could do some kind of “tag and release” program.
- Shoot lone militia member with a tranquilizer dart.
- Plant a discreet radio device on the militia member that is clearly marked “Property of US government.”
- Release militia member back into the wild.
- When militia member returns to refuge, activate device to loudly announce “Big Eagle to Mole One! Have you returned to the nest? Status update requested. Over.”
- Watch from a safe distance as the paranoid nutbags go all Lord of the Flies on each other.
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The answer to that is no. The approach at the moment seems to be to ignore them and let them embarrass themselves while they get involved in various in fights. But they’re starting to steal stuff, break stuff, and deliberately poke Native American groups in the eye. Oregon is punting by demanding that the feds do something. State and local authorities could make moves on their own. But apparently don’t want to. Its sort of shitty on the state’s part. No one wants to give these guys the shoot out they want, or to start a siege that will give them an excuse to start shooting. But the state governor is now demanding that the feds do just that, despite (apparently) not putting pressure on authorities she has direct control over to do the same.
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