Suspect farts himself out of police investigation


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/11/10/suspect-farts-himself-out-of-p.html


#2

“The suspect has waived his right to remain silent.”


#3

Note to self.


#4

I regret that I have only one like to give for that.


#5

#6

I’m trying to formulate a joke involving “stinking badges” but can’t. It’s too late on a Friday I guess.


#7

If convicted, will he get the gas chamber?


#8

No just a normal jail cell.


#9

And I was going to link to a GIF of that scene in Breaking Bad with Hector Salamanca’s response to an inquiry from Hank Schrader, but then thought better of it.


#10

You know for sure doing this would put a complete 180 on that crucial scene in Basic Instinct.

sharon-stone-basic-instinct-movie-photo-FC


#11

I considered “shite privilege in action” but dismissed it as an over-extension.


#12

That’s a whole lotta trepidation about a wee little crepitation.


#13

Hey KC made BB again. Wait -WTF is this? Why is it always some fucked up story. Look - we were the first to get Google Fiber. And we have proposed a plan to literally have every citizen suck Jeff Bezo’s dick if they build Amazons new headquarters here.


#14

A handy talent to have, don’t you think?


#15

… prompts the obligatory link re Le Petomane


#16

hmm, does that qualify as a Superpower?

edited to add - it does:


#17

I get that whenever I eat onions. The stomach cramps make it very much a curse though.


#18

If he had eaten some of my aunt Linda’s cheeseballs and drank a bunch of beer, like my dad did that one fateful Christmas, then I can completely understand letting him walk. As far away as he can, as soon as possible.


#19

“…Regardless of the fact he remains deadly”


#20

Yeah, but KC is like Buda and Pest. You have the Missouri side and the Kansas side. I never lived there, but for a while I’d always hear people’s opinion that the Kansas side was rather uncouth.