Texas councilman hits bathroom without turning off mic

The point is that simply touching the penis in an effort to direct your urine flow can be more than enough to transfer harmful microbes to your hands, and then on to the pretzels sitting in bowl on the bar,"

A sensible argument against onanism, too.

Whenever Iā€™m preparing food, Iā€™ll wash my hands once for myself in the bathroom and again in the kitchen for those Iā€™m preparing food for. Considering that a certain level of uncleanliness doesnā€™t seem to do that much harm, Iā€™m kind of glad that I canā€™t see things at the microbial level.

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By a strict regimen of cleaning your mouth with alcohol after every pretzel?

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If only. I total tees. And I donā€™t think that a liberal application of Dr Pepper would help.

But seriously, even though I wash my hands several times a day, I also open doors, lean against railings with dried bird-turd remnants on them, remove fliers from my bug-splattered windshield, pet the occasional doggie, shake the occasional new-acquaintanceā€™s hand, play catch with the occasional son or daughter in a germ-infested public park, pump the occasional gallon of gas, open the occasional can of Dr Pepper that may have been stepped on when its pallet first arrived at the 7-Eleven, and any number of activities that inevitably resulted in a few million nasty microbes visiting some mucous membrane or other on my person. I wash my hands especially after the most egregiously foul activities, but really, Iā€™ll just come out and say it: I donā€™t always wash my hands after a quick whiz unless I got something on me or I spent an inordinate amount of effort freeing uncharacteristically sweaty junk from the nether regions of my drawers. So donā€™t follow me around, donā€™t open doors Iā€™ve opened, and for godā€™s sake donā€™t handle faucets Iā€™ve used or paper towel dispensers Iā€™ve touched. I get sick maybe once every two years or less, but for all you know Iā€™m a walking Typhoid Harry. (edit: not you, specifically, Daneyulā€¦ just ā€œyouā€ the terrified germophobe out there reading this shit)

That said, I do always wash thoroughly before handling food destined for others. As for myself, well, I always say that Iā€™m the guy who eats M&Ms off the rear floorboards of other peopleā€™s cars.

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