Originally published at: Texas neighborhood invaded by fewer than 30-50 feral hogs | Boing Boing
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[Joke justifying ownership of an AR-15 here]
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That’s just it. The feral hogs are packing heat too!
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“Pigloo” sounds much cuter than “holdout bunker the feral hogs will use to accumulate weaponry and strike at the heart of American freedoms” but we all know that’s just branding.
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Obviously these swine need to feel their litigious might and learn to fear the HOA. They should come down hard on them, as if they’d painted their awnings an unauthorized color, or had shingles installed that were just enough the wrong shade of charcoal. I sit and wring my hands in sorrow for their lovely entitled flowerbeds.
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I live in this county (it’s like 50% suburban sprawl, 30% rural farm/ranches, 20% pure nature), every day there is at least 1 dead hog on the side of the road, some of them are as big as a washing machine…
They’re fierce, chaotic, and above all territorial. Do not recommend.
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The hogs probably feel the same way about humans. 
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Legit question: how do I pay for the therapy my kids are gonna need after watching me gun down 30-50 animals in our yard and likely getting conscripted into helping with the cleanup?
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Sadly, I’m thinking if someone is the type to gun down 30-50 wild pigs with an assault rifle, therapy is not a tool in their parenting toolbox. Probably due to it not being a tool in their own parents’ toolbox.
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I am not sure what is more dangerous to the children, 30 to 50 feral hogs running through the town randomly, or 30 to 50 feral hogs running through the town randomly, with hundred of rounds of gunfire being sprayed in their general direction.
Is there a hog or gun scientist that can explain this to me?
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This story pairs uncannily well with Neal Stephenson’s recently released novel “Termination Shock”.
Watch out Sienna, Snout’s about.
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All I saw was sausages running around.
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You don’t. You gaslight your kids into thinking something like this is just a normal part of life and isn’t traumatizing, it’s character building. /s
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This reminds me of a silly math question for tripping up young kids:
Q: “Seven birds are sitting on a fence. You shoot one. How many are left?”
A: “Zero, because the rest would fly away. Duh.”
Even if you can’t think of a better way to get 30–50 hogs out of your yard than gunfire, you don’t actually need to shoot all 30–50 of them. Even a single shot fired into the air would likely be enough to do the trick.
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I misread that as Federal hogs - that’s enough America-ing for me today I think…
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Don’t let your guard down! It’s just a scouting party!
Cody has warned us!
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We used to have these things running through our farm. They do a lot of damage mainly because there’s so very many of them. We built a big wire live-trap contraption thing and caught dozens and dozens of them. We gave them away to others to use, mainly because of all the trouble it takes to make the males edible.
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I tried to find a good gif for this, but did not.
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will return to Earth at muzzle velocity in some random place. Please don’t do this.
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