The Amazon reviews for a phone designed for rectal smuggling are pretty interesting reading

Every time I’ve gotten a new phone I’ve rectum.

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We may need to probe into why

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I agree, it should be simple like the Jitterbug phone for older folks. I think it should be completely smooth, like a polished stone with capacitive buttons and inductive charging and of course no headphone jack. I has to be designed so unwanted materials can’t get wedged in seams and the gaps between and behind the buttons.

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So, you’re saying there is a possibility for more market penetration?

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Here is a radical idea, how about a computer and communication system for inmates that doesn’t rob their families blind. Maybe a selling point for the bulls would be that it is a monitoring system too. You could put online courses and legal information on it too. I’m sure Google would be up for it.

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Problem is the charger is twice the size and the prongs don’t fold down.

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So the actual plan is to track everyone who buys one of these phones; knowing they’re going to break some law and get arrested.

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Just a port of Tapeworm.

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Does it have a camera?

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Just remember to set it to vibrate before passing through a security checkpoint.

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Just put it inside a condom and tie it shut. No “unwanted materials” in the seams that way.

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I had a can of these that were given to us once. The label was fake and put on a can of spaghetti o’s. Good times!

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I’ll presume the tactile surface of the keypad is Brailled for his pleasure

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Yes, especially once they really start to plug their product.

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There was a joke in AbFab this brings to mind, something about a cellphone (or was it pager?) in nether regions (not butt).

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“Trust me the smaller the better”…

Someone sounds like a quitter! How about “Does this come in Party Size?”

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I suspect that it shares a lot of DNA with a zillion other, different looking but quite similar, devices.

The always-excellent ‘Bunny’ Huang has a fascinating piece(also check out the link in the first paragraph, to the original post on the $12 phone); on the weird and wonderful world of rapidly-mutating low end hardware on the Pacific rim.

I’m not really looking to drop $50 on a cellular suppository just to do a teardown; but I would bet that some enterprising fellow had an existing cheapo cellphone design implemented in as little board space as possible to save money/cram into some other weird form factor; and realized that there was an attractively sized captive audience that might be willing to pay a premium if only the design were a little streamlined, literally.

On the one hand, this is hilarious because butts.

On the other hand, I keep thinking about the reason these have any appeal: Because we let private telecom companies exploit the shit out of people whose relatives are in prison.

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