The cake is NOT a lie

Originally published at: The cake is NOT a lie | Boing Boing


It is a lie, because the cake is not the version in-game which is inedible (and the fact that Glados never had any intention of giving Chell the cake). But yay for real actual Black Forest cake, i also like to get chocolate cake for my bday :slight_smile:

In the final battle, GLaDOS drops an Intelligence Core which lists an abridged version of these ingredients:

    1 (18.25-ounce) package chocolate cake mix
    1 can prepared coconut–pecan frosting
    3/4 cup vegetable oil
    4 large eggs
    1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
    3/4 cup butter or margarine
    1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
    2 cups all-purpose flour

Don't forget garnishes such as:

    Fish-shaped crackers
    Fish-shaped candies
    Fish-shaped solid waste
    Fish-shaped dirt
    Fish-shaped ethylbenzene
    Pull-and-peel licorice
    Fish-shaped volatile organic compounds and sediment-shaped sediment
    Candy-coated peanut butter pieces (shaped like fish)
    1 cup lemon juice
    Alpha resins
    Unsaturated polyester resin
    Fiberglass surface resins and volatile malted milk impoundments
    9 large egg yolks
    12 medium geosynthetic membranes
    1 cup granulated sugar
    An entry called: "How to Kill Someone with Your Bare Hands"
    2 cups rhubarb, sliced
    2/3 cups granulated rhubarb
    1 tbsp. all-purpose rhubarb
    1 tsp. grated orange rhubarb
    3 tbsp. rhubarb, on fire
    1 large rhubarb
    1 cross borehole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
    2 tbsp. rhubarb juice
    Adjustable aluminum head positioner
    Slaughter electric needle injector
    Cordless electric needle injector
    Injector needle driver
    Injector needle gun
    Cranial caps

And it contains proven preservatives, deep-penetration agents, and gas- and odor-control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

Yeah, it looks like they understand that a true Black Forest Gateau is more cream than cake - preferably about twice as much.



Cake is always disappointing; pie, on the other hand, is better than it appears



A Taste of Denmark (aka Neldham’s, if you’re old enough to remember it) Bakery in Oakland made one, they called it The Dreamcake. They also made a strawberry version of it that was equally yummy - they were my annual birthday cakes for years. Sadly, they are no more, victims of the pandemic.

eddie izzard death GIF


The linked wiki page answered my question. The bakery’s cake came first and was used as reference for the game. The bakery didn’t know.


You take that back! All deserts deserve respect!

Related, I replayed Portal recently (the RTX version is exactly as pretty as you remember the original game being in your memory), and Portal is still a fucking fantastic game. If you’re thinking “I don’t do games”, I’ll add that various non-game playing friends of mine have watched their spouse playing and ended up joining in. It helps that it’s a fairly short, self-contained, experience. Just a masterpiece of gameplay and storytelling.


A decade ago my youngest asked for a “Portal Cake” as a birthday cake.

(Wow, the last PC game I finished is that old?)



I love Portal and thought it was the greatest game ever, until Portal 2 came out. Wow, what an expansion into that world.

Great, now I have to replay them both.


The co-op modes are also brilliant!


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