The Capital bares similarities and excepts it's kneads

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2021/01/14/the-capital-bares-similarities-and-excepts-its-kneads.html

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Ok, you got me. I read about a paragraph and a half and was getting PISSED. Then a part of my brain said, “Wait! Something’s up. No one is THIS consistently bad at writing, even on the internet. Pure chance would have gotten a few more things RIGHT!”

So I skimmed to the bottom and saw the punchline! Well played, sir, well played!

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You missed “bass”.

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Clickbait title, inviting outrage. Result is humor. I like it.

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Chaos rains.
We need an escape goat.

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My brain was very broken upon reading the title and first paragraph. I was about to write a strongly worded letter to the editor mentioning something about a failure of talk-to-text… And then the punchline hit.

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Sike!

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This post is sooooo triggering. Is there any way I can block it and never see it again???

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It doesn’t read much better after the homophones have been corrected:

The Capitol building in Washington D.C. remained stationary in principle and has accepted its ability to go forth.

What does that mean?

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That was painful to read, but it was even more painful to think of how many people wouldn’t even notice.

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In a similar vein:
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate…

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I’m bleeding from my eyes now. Thanks, I hate it!

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Had enough?

Speaking as a former copy editor, the headline was more than enough for me.

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Its the pour quality of education today that’s lead to the mess where currantly in.

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i am so, SO triggered. do not like!

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I thought I was coming down with the Old-Timer’s Disease reading that.

(I have actually heard clients referring to Alzheimer’s thusly. I am simply quoting, no mockery or snark intended.)

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That’s the most homophonic screed I’ve ever read.

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Going into it, I started to think the subject was the spelling and grammar of pro-Trump memes.

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This post brought to you by your good friends at YourT1Wifi. Internet Service Provider blocks social media after Trump's Twitter Ban, allegedly at request of customers

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But the title doesn’t even make sense when you say it aloud…

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