The E.T. sequel that fortunately never happened


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It could have been much, much worse. It could have been Signs.




Another alternative could have been a movie based on the sequel novel, where E.T. grows an entirely plant-based spaceship to try to get back to earth while Elliott’s struggles with puberty cause hilarious problems through their psychic connection…

(the book wasn’t horrible, but it probably wouldn’t have transitioned to film any better than this treatment…)


Say what you will about Signs, but the first glimpse of the alien was a piece of shock-horror genius.


This? Spoilers, etc. I always get a chuckle at the kid spontaneously translating himself into English for no-subtitle American movie reasons. At least the aliens land in some other country first for a change.


what, you didn’t like the giant turnip spaceship, the other alien with a million fingers, or the argument about galoshes?


I’m waiting for Alien vs Predator vs E.T.


That’s the one. It’s not very scary out of context, but seeing it in the theater for the first time, where you’d not seen even a glimpse yet of the alien after what 40 minutes?, that simple moment where he walks across is pretty intense.

I must also admit I’m a bit of an apologist for Mr. Shyamalan’s films. They may not be great, or even always good, but at the end of the day they are something very different than what you usually get in American cinema. I think his more recent work shows that he works better when he’s got someone to exercise some veto power in the writing.


This gets me wondering if anyone would have noticed all that much if E.T. had been shoehorned into the new Avengers film?


I first read about this over at Cracked’s “6 Insane Sequels That Almost Ruined Classic Movies”.

In the end, Spielberg decided to abort the project because even he realized that it “would do nothing but rob the original of its virginity.”


As a kid, I actually kinda liked the book, though I remember it getting really weird at the end.

As an adult, thinking about it translating to the screen, especially in light of the special effects available at the time… I just don’t imagine it turning out well.


I thought that the sequel was the video game for the Atari 2600


Wasn’t this the “story” of that E.T. ride at Universal Studios?


I saw “Signs” with my parents and as soon as the credits started I said “Oh look it’s the large print edition!” That cracked up my mom.


Kotzwinkle writes some weird shit.


Wow Shyamalan versus Spielberg …they both smother their movies in mawkish sentimentality, glaring plot holes, carelessly placed props, and lighting that makes you wonder what time of day it’s supposed to be. But MNS just isn’t that good, while with Spielberg it’s more like brazen contempt for critics and people that do things spot discontinuities in films. It seems like Spielberg leaves the final edits and the post-production to a couple of stoned interns. It’s almost humanly impossible to list all the sloppy errors in “Saving Private Ryan,” so you can imagine how much worse “ET” was. And there’s always one moment in a Spielberg movie where it seems like it’s a deliberate poke in the eye and I call that the “Oh God damn it Steven!” moment.


Signs really is like ET:
Dithering single parent
Adorable brother and sister
Dopey man-child brother/cousin
Cornfield in the backyard (Why in the hell did Eliot’s dusty California cul-de-sac have a cornfield out the back door?)
Don’t the kids toss balls into the corn in both movies?
Big kitchen knives


ET2: Judgement Day


Super 8 was as close as I’d want to get to an ET sequel. And to a Stand By Me sequel as well.