The Emoji Movie sucks, but the reviews are awesome

The chilling possibility is that making The Emoji Movie might be a reflection of someone’s unconstrained authentic self, in all its stupefying mediocrity, rather than just a cynical cash grab.

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Four beers makes more sense after three beers.

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Too bad Giger is dead. I’d love an emoji set designed by him.

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Always skip the 5th beer and go straight for the 6th.
The 5th will only give you a hangover.

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Or Mœbius.

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That’s the danger of drinking. It causes impaired judgement and you forget to do this!

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That’s the power of drinking! Thank goodness for impaired judgment! America wouldn’t be being made more great without it!

I feel an Oogieloves coming on…

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Hey man, friendship is magic.

But emojis capable of expressing emotions other than what they are expected to express undermines the entire point of emojis: to make internet communications less ambiguous and subject to misinterpretation.

I mean, if a pile of shit and a puking face are capable of learning how to love each other no matter what obstacles stand in their way how am I expected to respond to my grandmother’s invitation to Sunday dinner this weekend?

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