The linguistics of Black Metal, and how to translate common English phrases into the Dark Lord's Tongue

boing
21

Are you talking about Madonna’s book or am I missing out on something else?

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Where does Entombed fit into all of this?

How about Cookie Monster?

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You mean these guys?

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Since I grew up in the 80s, I actually don’t mind Madonna singing about her vagina, lol. I was thinking more about [insert any controversial modern pop singer here], and I’m not against sexuality in music, but I am against banality and tired commercialism.

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25

You’re really sending me down memory lane here…
“This is heresy!”

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26

I know, right? It’s like finding out about a nationwide murder cult based on, I dunno, Super Mario Brothers. Victims are bound, dressed up like Koopas, and stomped to death by a crowd of mustachioed men in overalls, solemnly droning the theme music in perfect unison. I feel like I ought to be horrified, but I can’t get past how ridiculous they are.

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27

Yep, that’d be them.

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Don’t forget the radical nationalism. Burzum guy… Varg Vikens? He indeed took it seriously.

Edit - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varg_Vikernes had the name a little wrong.

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29

If all this aggressive language makes you hungry, you can go check out Vegan Black Metal Chef’s cooking shows on YouTube. “Cut the tofu! With your knife! You don’t have to use a knife that’s as awesome as mine!” “Call up fire from the dark ones - medium high should do!”

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30

LOL!

I had to google Vegan Black Metal Chef, I’ve only watched the first episode so far but it looks completely awesome. Thanks man! and here’s a link for the lazy -

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31

My favourite CD song of all time.

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Discourse’s anti-ALL CAPS rule has clearly stifled the conversation here.

UNDER A DIGITAL THRALL,ENFORCED QUIETUDE
MY TONGUE’S HEAVING STILLED BY CANTRIPS OF THE NUMBER GODS!!!

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33

Just in case any of you haven’t heard the greatest thing ever: Nile “Lashed to the Slave Stick”

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I know, we really need more heavy metal translations in this thread.

CONCURRENCE OF OPINION, I APPEND
NECESSITY OF AN INCREASED MOIETY
OF TRANSURANIC TUNAGE TRANSLITERATION
NECESSITATION
CONVERSATION
INVESTED UNTO THIS CONSULTATION

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WTB “black metal translation” browser add-on.

2 Likes
36

Yes! DO IT.

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