The one thing a man should never say to a woman in bed

Came here to say precisely that - thanks.

Yeah I’m pretty tired of being made to feel like the entire outcome of a night of Netflix and chilling is my responsibility because I’m the one with a dick.

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In which case the only thing you should be saying to a woman in bed is “Good Lord - I thought you were the bolster!”


Just like the book!


Such an odd post - almost as if the whole Masters&Johnson/JoyOfSex/LiberationOfEros/Sexual Revolution thing never happened.

I mean, here’s a 21st-century woman who actually thinks her appearance could somehow be responsible for a guy’s (first?) limp dick.

How does that even happen in this day and age?

It’s not about you or your looks… Take it from me, most dicks are semi-automatic machinery. Got nothing to do with your appearance.

Horny guys will fuck Fleshlights and sheep and Mason jars full of liver… IF they can.

So here’s some advice in return: if he doesn’t get hard (after reasonably persuasive efforts) it means that he’s probably tired, stressed, anxious, drunk, high, dehydrated, and/or unwell. Take your pick. Probably three or four of those.

(My first time it was pneumonia, but we didn’t know that until I keeled over and got hauled to the ER the next day.)

But whatever it is, it’s NOT your attractiveness. Dicks just don’t really work like that. None of the ones I’ve ever known, anyway. (-:

If a guy’s trying to get his dick hard for you, you’ve already attracted him. Whatever’s keeping him from ‘performing’ (ooooh, I hate that euphemism!) it’s not your appearance.

And if y’all can’t have fun sex without a stiffie, one or both of you needs a more enlightened partner.

(IMnvHO and IME with a wide range of dicks.)


“You women with your hysteria! Get out of my sleeping chambers!”


The one thing a woman should never say to a man she is not intimate with.

"So you say those four or five innocent-sounding little words: “That’s never happened before.”

Only here’s what we hear:

“I’ve been able to get it up for every other woman I’ve been with. You’re the first woman I haven’t been able to perform with.”"

That’s ridiculous.


Yes, cause god forbid, women have a voice. Why won’t us shrill harpies quite bitching.


“Whoah, wait, you’re not [somebody else’s name].”


“Dont I know you from a family reunion?”


Oh really, that’s “the ONE thing a man should never say?”

Because I bet there’s quite a list of things a man should never say.


And me.

I’ve known far too many women who are perfectly sensible about this stuff, and are perfectly well aware that it’s not about them.

Both the OP and several commenters seem to make the mistake of assuming that everyone thinks exactly the way they do.

But some women value honesty in a relationship, and are secure in their own ego and attractiveness, and would never turn a momentarily limp dick into some sort of long-lasting emotional trauma.

And they don’t need (or want) other people to lie and dissemble to protect their fragile self-esteem.

That’s certainly been true of almost all the women I’ve ever seriously dated - but maybe it’s just a selection effect on my part, eh?

At any rate, please don’t presume to speak for all women. Thank you.


Ooh, ooh, i have another one.

“Well that shouldn’t have just fallen off”


Huh. She’s never gotten that reaction before.



I remember at least one person telling me in a PM there is a bit of groupthink mentality here - though I think that is true to a degree of many forums.

Well I certainly don’t! (Should I…?)

Not that I don’t see problems with the OP, but I knew this thread would turn into a mocking, dismissive, self-assuring sausage fest.

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