Originally published at: The subtle brilliance of Waffle House | Boing Boing
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Large hash browns, scattered, smothered, peppered, capped. Two eggs, sunny-side up, runny, dropped on top.
Heaven.
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I thought the “brilliance” of Waffle House was their resilience in the face of disaster, leading to the famed Waffle House Index.
Instead of measuring storms or natural disasters by intensity or windspeed, the WHI measures which Waffle Houses are closed, and which are running a limited menu. From this, FEMA can estimate the destruction caused by a particular storm.
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Artery clogging breakfasts are the meals I live for. I don’t get them much these days, but I live for kind of trashy diners with their attempts at rustic “ambience,” broken Coca-cola clocks, red pleather booths, a waitress named Flo or Marge or Tiff, and breakfast served 24-7 with all the extras and that triple slam quantity.
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Gotta say, that was truly funny, and probably a definitive Waffle House statement.
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And here is why some of us (upper left hand corner) human hermit crabs only know of Waffle House from stories (like this well done one)
(Waffle House distribution map)
(man, they really spread along the interstate highways dont they?)
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Waffle House? Surely you mean Wa fl Ho se.
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Don’t get into a fight at Der Waffle Haus. It will end badly.
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As a Canadian now in the southern US with no real exposure to IHOP or Waffle House (or heck, Bob Evans / Perkins either!) where should my greasy spoon dollars go? 
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Well, if you can look past the questionable hiring practices, I think Cracker Barrel has the best breakfast.
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Waffle House, ftw
you can forget those others.
@jaded came for WHIndex. not disappoint, thank you. we actually joke about that here - a lot during “The Season”
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While I was 25, a couple of things happened*. The first is that I got hired permanent at my then-current job, and they moved me to 2nd shift (3 - 11:30pm). This meant I didn’t really have any activity after work, and I burned off fewer calories. The second is that I got another job, which moved me back to day shift, but for the first month I worked in a different city. The company put me up in a hotel with an expense account for meals. There was a Waffle House next door to the hotel.
While I am down from my peak weight, 27 years later my gut has never really looked back.
*(Well a couple other things happened, too: I quit smoking and I met my now-wife.)
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The thing I remember about Waffle Houses were that you didn’t have to cross over the overpass to get to one - they had one on both sides.
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Cracker Barrel and Bob Evans both have extremely questionable politics. I wouldn’t go to either one, personally. (I live in rural Indiana, so this is not a theoretical statement.)
I think of Perkins as being more northern, but maybe I’m wrong about that. No idea if there are any bad politics. It was the best option when driving in the upper Midwest back in the 60’s and 70’s.
Waffle House is…Waffle House. You’ve got to go at least once and make your own decision.
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The thing that prevents me from eating at Waffle House is the use of cooking oil instead of margarine or butter when making eggs. Yuck.
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Perkins is practically upscale in my (low rent) world. Go there for a reasonable date night after some other activity which doesn’t involve getting dressed up. I like it after kayaking because we’re seldom the only dripping wet and sunburned people there and nobody asks questions (and it’s located conveniently to where we pull the kayaks out of the water). Bob Evans is where you take the family for a reasonably good facsimile of farm food (i.e., soul food with less seasoning). Its like Cracker Barrel quit trying. It’s like Denny’s with a fake Appalachian accent. Waffle House is where you go when you’re looking for something to do after the bars close down, whether that be get into a fight or pre-treat the hangover. IHOP isn’t worth the trip. It’s like Waffle House got all bougie and pretends it doesn’t remember where it came from.
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I have no notes!
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Alas the Waffle House index was only moderately useful, and once Waffle House became aware of it it became useless. Franchise owners began to get pressure from on high to stay open regardless of the level of risk. This skewed the metrics and made it unusable.
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damn capitalists! alway fekkin things up for a buck!
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Where else do you have to choose between “country ham” and “city ham”?
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