Seriously, does anyone have Seagal’s contact info? I want to ask if he will leave me one of his antique samurai swords. I mean he has a ton of them, and leaving me one when he dies is no skin off his nose. I can even sign something saying I would never sell it.
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Yep. Quite horrible.
For structure and style, the best writer I know of is Michael Chabon. Going through his ‘Kavalier & Clay’, I was constantly impressed by the way he seemed to be inventing ways of structuring sentences while maintaining clarity. K&C is a beautiful read… and the story ain’t bad either!
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I feel obliged to link to this for those who haven’t seen it yet. It’s just so untoppable.
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Thanks. Classic:
“He is America’s (now Russia’s) delusional lying grandpa, if grandpas were mostly known for refusing to shut the fuck up about aikido. His inability to back up his absurd claims were challenged the time he said he couldn’t be choked out while in the presence of Gene Lebell, one of MMA’s forefathers. So Lebell put Seagal in a rear naked choke hold. Seagal proceeded to pass out and supposedly shit himself.”
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Gode enough, you win!
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It’s common knowledge, he’s always been an unapologetic asshole with no attempt to conceal it.
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It was chanted by Chungdrag Dorje, the ancient lama of whom Steven Segal is the most recent reincarnation (or that’s what Segal paid for anyway).
The sad protagonist of this tale is Chungdrag Dorje himself who struggled mightily to attain true Buddha nature and has only thus far made it to true Dickhead nature in all these centuries of birth and rebirth.
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Real subtle, Mr. Chabon…
Just saw this on Wiki re Chabon:
In a 2017 radio interview, Chabon spoke of President Trump and said: “Every morning I wake up and in the seconds before I turn my phone on to see what the latest news is, I have this boundless sense of optimism and hope that this is the day that he’s going to have a massive stroke, and, you know, be carted out of the White House on a gurney."
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Yeah, when we look at who’s getting named and shamed in Hollywood, it’s recognizable names - there are stories about actresses getting harassed/assaulted by crew, by make-up artists and key grips and whatnot, but they’re never named because they’re not famous and it wouldn’t mean anything to anyone. Seagal now seems to be sliding into that category. Certainly every time I see his name, I think, “Oh yeah, I forgot he existed. I guess he’s still alive, even.”
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A “massive stroke” is just the first stage in the process! And, unlike the book, I doubt we can hope for a happy outcome.
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I found the monkey chow bits to be so very evocative. An underrated novel, to be sure.
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?
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Good to know I’m not the only one, except I don’t check the news on my phone.
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"Just let me finish this dream, dear…
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I call bullshit – if this was a real Steven Seagal novel, it would have been released direct-to-DVD.
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Obviously, he collaborated with the wrong Morrissey…
Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.
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Have you met this young lady?
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Nooo - but if you know her, hook a brother up 
Okay, I’m gonna be that guy … while I like the premise, this would mean President Pence.
So: 
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