I had to look to see who started the thread before daring to enter in, because that’s literally (LITERALLY, in every sense of the word) what has been said on this forum quite a few times recently. 
So pleased to see humor and intelligence representing instead.
Similar here; I came into this thread expecting to need to throw flags all over the place. Pleasantly surprised instead.
We are only on post 8 or so, it’s still early.
Well, we all know you’re not allowed to compliment women anymore, right? So this just makes sense, much easier this way for all involved!
I have a lot of social anxiety when it comes to talking to random people so i think i’m ahead of the game here.
Also, “couches” in the women’s bathroom?
I knew it!
That was delicious.
The imagery is all very amusing
but I must admit there is something alluring about this mental model
in which one assumes that everyone voted
and decided one is not allowed to talk to anyone.
Or leave the apartment.
Or get out of bed,
since anything one does
will be worse
than what somebody else would have done.
Ha ha ha.
ETA some pretentious line breaks
i forgot them before
sorry
I don’t know how ubiquitous the couch thing is in ladies bathrooms but where i grew up we had a community club with pools, tennis courts, etc. and the men’s bathrooms was what you’d expect. The ladies bathroom was twice as big and had like a lounging area with mirrors to do makeup, had really nice couches, carpeting, curtains, etc. It was really something else, never seen anything like it.
“Everybody face your respective wall and don’t talk anymore.”
Been a fan of UrsulaV’s stuff since I discovered Digger, so excited to see her on BoingBoing. 
Wait, people insist on talking to women who have headphones on?
I thought everybody put on headphones as a signal of “Would the world kindly fuck off except in cases of a rampaging dingos, legendary pokemon in the area or fire.”?
I guess being gay I have been oblivious to new techniques men use to try to pick up women.
Never underestimate someone with poor social awareness coupled with the stink of sexual desperation/inadequacy. I’ve had friends tell someone they were gay, which only seemed to encourage guys even further.
And in college i was at the computer lab doing with with some large headphones on and i realized at one point that some annoying dude had been talking to me for a while even though i had no idea he was there.
You are missing context, there was a PUA article on “How to talk to women wearing headphones” - we’ve been mining it for humour ever since.
This is still my fave response.
Your comrade made the awful mistake of talking to the Woman Who Is Reading A Book On The Subway. You watched it happen.
He made her look up from the book and her basilisk eyes fell on him, unblinking, and he melted.
You still remember the screams.
“Your mom abstained.”
That’s what made it for me.
That poem, though;
“Keep the baby. You need her more than she needs you.”
