The world will end on Wednesday. With fire. By God

[AnonyMouse]

Free will, I guess.

[AnonyMouse]

@Donald_Petersen

@howaboutthis

Won’t somebody think of all the children who are doomed by our loving Father to eternal hellfire because they were born after the cutoff date?

Aw, don’t worry about them. All kids born after that date weren’t issued souls in the first place.

Gloomiest and yet most plausible explanation of hipsters I ever heard.

[CarlMud]

Free will is moot if god knows what you’re going to do anyway. No parent would leave a kid in a room with a poisoned fruit and say, “don’t eat that” and then walk away without supervising the child. And if the kid ate the poisoned fruit without understanding the consequences, it would be the parent’s fault, not the child’s. Such a parent would have their kids taken away from them by social services. But “mysterious ways” and all that, I suppose.

[anon50609448]

@CarlMud

Such a parent would have their kids taken away from them by social services.

Maybe that’s why we haven’t seen any burning bushes or parted waters for the last few thousand years.

[anon73629133]

God opens the morning paper.

Oh damn. Kim Davis? Again?

Fuck patching, time for a reformat and clean install.

~fin~

[CarlMud]

That would be an interesting variation on the watchmaker analogy. God’s not dead, it’s just that his custody has been revoked.

[anon50609448]

And apparently we’ve been left in the custody of do-nothing in-it-for-the-checks foster parents who just let us run wild.

[SteampunkBanana]

I checked their twitter:

October 8th

[anon50609448]

“Since it is now October 8th it is now obvious that we were incorrect regarding the world’s ending on the 7th.”

[anon33466019]

I had a reading comprehension slip and read the domain as Edible Fellowship dot com.

[SteampunkBanana]

Pen Island dot com?

[CarlMud]

I’m imagining Adventures in Babysitting, except it’s an alternate deity responsible for shepherding the human race through troubled times after jehovah’s parental rights are revoked, even though it’s not cut-out for “this shit.” Reframe historical events as comedy-of-error scenarios where he/she/it helpfully tries to steer humans in a good direction but things always get messed up. And if he/she/it ever gets anything right, the humans always praise the absent judeo-christian deity instead.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Babysits the World, coming to theaters Summer 2016.

[gregmcph]

Was Nick Cage on the plane?

[Zardoz]

Religion, is that still a thing?

[anon61221983]