There’s nothing in the $137,000 Oscar gift bag I’d want. Here’s my fantasy gift bag

boing
1

Originally published at: There's nothing in the $137,000 Oscar gift bag I'd want. Here's my fantasy gift bag | Boing Boing

…

3 Likes
2

I’d take a Hasselblad 907x over the Leica, since the back will work with my 503cx.

6 Likes
3

The only thing I’ve every really wanted (that can be bought, unlike world peace):

A pony.

(Tough to bag, though.)

5 Likes
4

The popcorn and the tea might be not half bad.

11 Likes
5

The popcorn, the tea, and the Lordship, and I’m good.

7 Likes
6

My mediocre math skills puts the total value just under 4 million.

A Ukrainian charity? Maybe a local food bank? A school district that needs new computers?

The absurdity of this makes me sick.

13 Likes
7

So… some tea and popcorn, then?

4 Likes
8

– A $15,000 four-night stay for two at the Golden Door luxury resort and spa in Escondico, Calif.

Well that one, I’d like that, but only if the mini bar was included.

10 Likes
9

I wouldn’t mind the $25,000 worth of home improvements … except that I imagine in Hollywood, that would just about cover a new kitchen faucet.

10 Likes
10

Someone at that castle is having a laugh, it doesn’t cost $50k to hire a place like that for 3 nights. If they’ve managed to sell a batch lot of 24 sets of 50k weekenders someone has made their sales quota for the next 5 years!

4 Likes
11

A bag with $137,000 in cash would be pretty sweet. And call me Lord Swag while you’re handing it to me

12 Likes
12

Yeah, $137k into my savings so I can quit work a few years sooner.

If that’s not an option then $137k worth of things I can sell quickly. Throw in a few weeks in Greece if you must, I’ll keep that.

4 Likes
13

$25,000 worth of home renovations from Los Angeles-based Maison Construction

So, what is that the equivalent of in Beverly Hills? Patching a small hole in the drywall?

8 Likes
14

An all-access pass to the next ComiCon.
Lifetime National Park pass.
A million airline mile credits on (airline of your choice).

9 Likes
15

Museum passes. Some galleries are expensive.

8 Likes
16

All of this is correct. All that wealth wasted on liposuction and other bullshit.

Tax the wealthy until they squeal. They clearly have too much money.

9 Likes
17

You and only 300,000 other people.

1 Like
18

Answers the big WHY? of swag bags. It’s all about those who donate gift items.

(excerpt)
The “Everybody Wins” gift bags, worth just more than $137,000 each, were distributed by Los Angeles-based Distinctive Assets. So what are these non-gift gift bags? According to one source, they are incentives to spread the word about the products inside. “If you think about it as ‘what is the intent of providing those items, products or services?’, obviously it’s the hope that the celebrity is going to use that product, go on that vacation,” Eric Bronnenkant, head of tax at Betterment, told CNBC. “They’re trying to influence behavior.”

Re Distinctive Assets… it’s right there on their home page. Middlemen for the desperate:

DISTINCTIVE ASSETS is a Los Angeles-based niche marketing company offering celebrity placement, product introduction and branding opportunities within the entertainment industry and beyond.

5 Likes
19

The gift bag for award presenters includes an ice pack.

9 Likes
20

Hmmm, I’d pick:

Week in Tuscan villa (of just about any condition)

Liveaboard dive trip to the Galapagos Islands

Ability to ‘remove’ any one world leader (plus opportunity for Two-for-One-Tuesday deal)

Toss some confetti in the bottom of the bag, and that’d do it.

4 Likes