These indestructible flashlights are designed to smash through obstacles

I’ve set them up in strategic positions and implemented the supply chain infrastructure necessary to allow them to be used without batteries.

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Excellent. I admire your strategic endeavours.
I was expecting you to say you’d implemented the communications infrastructure to enable them to be operated from wherever you are.

E.g.

  • Do they work in the forest?
    - Yes, I use my phone to turn them on when I am out in the forest.
  • Does this help you see in an emergency in the forest?
    - Tch - don’t be silly, they’re strategic!!
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Well, if some company tries to trademark “Tactical” or get a design patent on the “crenelated strike bezel” then buying these will be an act of rebellion against IP Maximalists!!!

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Next, Tic Tacticals?

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Shit, I guess things have escalated against the Cavity Creeps from when I was a kid.

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Best flashlight evah!

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I’m sorry, but a 2nd-level illusionist can cast continual light on your (far more durable) war hammer for a fraction of the cost, and it’ll last forever as long as you stay out of anti-magic fields. So unless you’re campaigning in the northern quarter of Tantras or something like it, save your money.

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