This 10-in-1 tool will up your smoking game


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/09/19/this-10-in-1-tool-will-up-your.html


#2

This is a MUST for the Modern Smoker.

Whenever I see somebody trying to disguise their LED-free smoking I have a jolly good laugh at their expense.

Then horse-whip the scoundrels out of town!


To nit-pick, this tool is missing one other essential tool for the Modern Smoker - a fire-extinguisher shield; times being what they are, the Modern Smoker is constantly defending their air-rights against extra-judicial pranktivists and their chemical-spewing, respiratory-assaulting extinguishers.

Although if the Modern Smoker can successfully pin-down a pranktivist, any of the knife, pick/poker or scissors - really, any of the attachments other than the clip and LED - will make short shrift of their insolent ways!


This Modern Smoker Review™ brought to you in part by a grant from @anon73629133 Associates.


#3

Okay, they’re just trolling now.


#4

Ah the multi-tool bottle opener. The lowest hanging fruit on the multi-tool tree.


#5

They should call it “The Tick”…


#7

The Nuggy Smoker’s Multi-Tool is a wonder of moderne convenience. I’ve become so huggy with my nuggy that I’ve nicknamed it the snuggy. I am delighted that my tobacconist, a quality chap, recommended it to me. Let us review the points of import:

A knife is essential for separating the tobacco leaves from the branches, and this one cuts. Scissors are most useful for cutting that little nib in the back of a Havana, and these scissors execute the Groucho procedure smartly. Often when I’ve conducted an exchange with my tobacconist I find the need to wash and groom, and lil snuggy’s poker is perfect for cleaning under the nailes, while the tamper tamps back the cuticles. The scraper is more like a butter knife, and is the perfect size to schmear some Gentlemen’s Relish on a bit of biscuit, and the mini-spoon puts a dollop of caviar on-top (the black market variety, natch). When I’m in a particularly sporting sartorial mood, I use the clip to affix the snuggy to dangle from my left lapel. Who says that only The French can innovate fashion accessories.

The only thing I don’t much care for is the LED flashlight. Proper socialites prefer the warmer tones of an LED lantern.


#8

Ten Benson and a packet of king-sized Rizlas will see you alright.


#9

I feel like I’m seeing a lot of products pushed for starting smoking on Boing Boing. What’s the deal? I thought the site was geared towards healthier lifestyles.


#10

When did BB become so obsessed with smoking?


#11

When you see a post credited to “The Boing Boing Store,” it’s not actually a Boing Boing post. No one at Boing Boing has likely seen the product. It’s an ad from a third-party store site (StackCommerce?) that pays Boing Boing to use their name and post ads disguised as articles, to trade on BB’s credibility and your trust to sell random gizmos.


#12

You know, the BB Store being run by stoners actually explains so much.


#13

I don’t know, this reads like an authored post: http://boingboing.net/2016/09/17/atmos-high-end-versatile-vap-2.html

Even if it’s being delivered by a third party, shouldn’t they have some control over the type of ads that appear here?


#14

And all the skinny wallet offers. The wallets only need to be able to hold rolling papers, a “medical” id card, and a little cash…


#15

Seriously. WTF is with all the ads for smoking stuff these days. Ads for gadgets and gizmos I am cool with, the constant barrage of smoking paraphernalia on the other hand just seems weird.


#16

“up your smoking game”… I had no idea was a competitive sport. Seriously, who writes this copy?

Oh, I remember an example, but it’s far out of this league: Shel Silverstein: The Great Smoke Off


#17

Globally, tobacco use killed 100 million people in the 20th century, much more than all deaths in World Wars I and II combined. In two and a half days in the USA smoking kills more people than died in the twin towers…and Boing Boing is promoting smoking by selling smoking paraphernalia? Boing Boing has always been the voice of reason and science - there cannot be any good reason or scientific evidence for promoting the worlds most readily preventable cause of death.


#18

I thought that was the flat-head screwdriver.

“Hey, we need another tool to make it 16-in-one!”
“Is there a flat, thin bit anywhere on it?”
“Yeah.”
“Screwdriver. Boom! Done.”


#19

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