Originally published at: This device translates babies' cries into words | Boing Boing
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Obligatory:
unfortunately, better audio is not available 
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What happens the first time someone turns it on and it’s all “fuck you mom!”
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Babies want 4 things. It doesn’t take a long time to figure it out.
Hungry
Tired
Diaper
Attention
Handle your business!
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Can’t wait to see the disclaimers for this product… 
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The same devices exist for dogs. Don’t get them confused.
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They should install one in US Congress/Senate.
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Jeez… context is everything!
I thought that was a cartoon of Sarah Huckabee Sanders interviewing for the position of press secretary!
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Classic episode. I wish there was a clip for when he takes the baby translator to the baby consumer goods convention, and when a parent walks by with a child on a leash and the baby turns to their parent and babbles something, you get Danny DeVito’s voice translating “This leash degrades both of us.”
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Babbling Baby: All I want to eat is candy.
Delighted Mom: Then that’s all you’ll have!
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Also closely related to the dog translator:
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Could make for some good horror movie scenarios: baby says something sinister, technician is called and checks the device mulitple times, “Nope, it’s not the box, it’s your child”
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Wow, I just had a flashback to my worst babysitting gig. I’m not saying my neighbor’s child was possessed, but calling a priest did cross my mind… 
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One of my kids as a baby: wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah for like hours on end.
Translation: I’m bored.
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Just listening to those baby cries makes my stomach turn into knots. I’m just glad my babies (not really babies, 11 and 13) no longer cry like that.
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I’m as sciency as your average BB reader, and parenting a sick infant had me panic-buying homeopathic medicine for my sick kid (hint: The reason that homeopathic medicine is the only OTC medicine for infants is because there’s no active ingredient). I knew it wouldn’t work, and I knew that my wife knew it, but our brains are broken enough that we spent $3 so we could feel like we were doing something to make him feel better and/or sleep.
This seems like a much more expensive version of that predatory cash grab.
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“We’ve traced the call - it’s coming from your baby.”
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In all seriousness, you can teach your baby sign language a lot earlier than them being vocal. But won’t work for little babies.
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