Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/05/15/this-night-light-for-your-toil.html
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Wireless IoT integration coming soon! ™
But seriously, I didn’t know I needed this. Now that I know it exists, I still don’t know I need it.
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“The UV bidet that sanitizes your butt and gives you a great tan!”
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Hmm… I pay up to 26 cents per thousand Watt hours of electricity, and my bathroom uses a mains powered 10 Watt LED bulb. Now let’s say a bathroom visit is 5 minutes. For 26 cents I get 1000 kWh, or 100 hours of mains powered bathroom light:
At 5 minutes a visit, I get 1200 visits for 26¢.
So, please, please do tell us about all the money we will save by spending $40 on a toilet bowl night light 
In just 184,615 nighttime trips to the bathroom (very roughly, about 200 years worth) I can make my money back! (Not including cost of replacement batteries… :-/ )
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The last time my toilet bowl glowed ominously like that it was heralding the arrival of a 1980s horror-comedy demon.
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Or the cost of the – proprietary format? I’ll bet they’re a proprietary format – essential oil refill cartridges.
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Hopefully they aren’t DRMed like a Juicero, or IP lawsuit locked like an HP printer cartridge 
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Consider the mental image of a super-high-tech toilet owner using a wood/rubber plunger, struggling to unclog the bastard.
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That would be pretty – wait for it… – shitty of them.
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Turns out you are right. Not only are the scent cartridges proprietary, they also contain the batteries, meaning even the batteries are proprietary! $20 for 2 scent/battery cartridges. Good for 210 uses each.
Normally I get 1200 bathroom visits for 26¢ worth of electricity. 1200 visits using the proprietary battery cartridges costs about $57! About 220 times more. Oh, oh, I’ve saved sooo much money on electricity 
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When I saw the title I was kind of hoping the thing was equipped with a proper high-voltage ozone generator. Alas, perhaps that awaits us in the future.
What exactly makes these oils essential…?
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That’s one of my quibbles with the whole obsession with “essential” oils. I think a lot of people don’t realize that the “essential” in essential oils refers to “essence” as in smell, not to the oils being essential for health or life. “Essential” oils are just smelly plant squeezings.
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Based on the picture and headline, I assumed it was a UV light. I am relieved to read that it isn’t. Cuts down on rates of “cancer of the junk.”
It’s so niche, they probably don’t need to be. All they need to do is have their own design, and no one else would want to make a compatible cartridge because the market’s too small to bother with.
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Once again, the BoingBoing Shop runs a photo of a toilet product that pretends that the area behind the toilet is illuminated. Just like the Illumibowl, this product lights up only the interior of the bowl.
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That’s right, it’s just a deodorizer. In that case, then why not also spritz out spray tan, for the nice orange butt look. Orange is the new tan, right?
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Swimming pools, movie stars.
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It does what? Why? Jesus-Christ!
We have a climate emergency people, Boing Boing is that last place I’d expect to see flogging off crap like this.
Quit it, or you’ll go blind!
If you had a pit toilet in the back yard you could get all those visits for free.
I thought “essential” meant simply that there was no scientific verification of their functioning and that they actually coated your lungs with oil, eventually asphyxiating you.
no, hun, i don’t need any healing anus spritz.
i’m still saving for my bidet-thingy.
