You’re right! Low-falutin’ shenanigans or nothing!
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“… everytime you spend a penny”
Or
"“shat a brick”!
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An assometric algorithm.
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Riiiiight.
I’m trying to imagine
dropping one’s drawers,
and plunking one’s ass
on the Throne,
while at the same time
clenching one’s exits (a difficult chore, to strain against one’s natural inclination)
One must prevent spillage and overflow
in order to achieve an accurate reading
as well to prevent
setting off the smoke detector
and frying one’s Hairy-Area(s).
Better still, you could have a whole network of dunnies connected so that whenever you made a download you could be a player in “Lavatory Lotto”. Evacuations would be scored for speed and, of course, weight (determined according to proper Archimedean principles). Naturally you would also have random winners. Payouts via a terminal in each cubicle. Televised playoffs … and behind the green door… a celebrity, a politician, a member of the clergy, a homeless person. Everyone’s a potential winner in LalaLotto.
Nobody likes a stool pigeon.
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Hard pass on this crapgadget.
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The new fashion to have one check one’s health all the time baffles me, things like watches which check your heart and blood pressure continuously, etc…
I go to the doctor when I feel sick and get a general check-up from time to time. Are people in such bad condition that they expect to suddenly die any moment and need to monitor their health continuously? I really wonder.
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Make no mistake: your smart toilet will rat you out to the feds.
As will your toaster and your fridge.
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And eventually, to your employer. They already require piss tests at some employers, looking for drug use or whatever. By analyzing the urine they would be able to do continuous monitoring without the expense of sending it to a lab. And not just for drugs: if you spill some sugar or protein, the risk of some diseases like diabetes become a drag on their insurance. See how fast the pink slip arrives! I’d invest in buying clean urine at some point, there will surely be a market.
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No problem. The toilet will automatically place the order.
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That particular person’s condition has been stable since 1977.
My question was serious. Are people in such a bad shape, generally, that they need constant monitoring? From your particular choice of example and the reasons his heath degraded in the 70s, you may be thinking about the opioid epidemics in the USA. But I don’t think opioid addicts are in a state to worry about their health and monitoring their heart rate is not the response anyway.
Then, there are news that a third of humanity suffers from serious metabolic unbalance because of poor diets. Is this what this monitoring device is about? I wonder.
I was mainly thinking of that he died on the toilet.
Apparently quite a lot of people die on the toilet. Evidently something motivates them to think they need to use it and then bam - heart attack. Don’t know if this stands for other illnesses.
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