This Zuck vs Musk stuff can only get dumber

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Originally published at: This Zuck vs Musk stuff can only get dumber | Boing Boing

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Anybody have a spare lion or two for the match?

yeah, I know that’s probably ahistorical

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Tough to get import licenses for them. How about large angry dogs?
(which is historical)

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Can Chuck Norris and the ghost of Bruce Lee please show up to kick both their asses on general principle?

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Gladiator fights were always about spectacle for the masses. But I understand the concerns with tradition.

So - let’s arm them as they would have back in the day. And revive the thumbs up - thumbs down rule.

I’d pay a dollar for that!

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Can they flood the arena like in ancient times?

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[blowing two feet of dust off some Latin education]

Duo pollices deorsum!

uhm… maybe: ‘two thumbs down(wards)!’ …? (cf Romani ite domum)

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Great, likely even more damage done to the Roman Coliseum by two more assholes.

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Maybe they’ll both suffer debilitating injuries or death?

Rooting Katy Perry GIF by Apple Music

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I’d recommend an Andabatea match.

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Italy’s culture minister reached out to Meta CEO Zuckerberg to suggest staging the much-hyped contest at the legendary venue.

Remember when the words “Italian culture” evoked images of fine art and architecture, music, and delicious food and wine? The current fascist government would prefer we associate the term with a billionaire bumfight.

I might forgive them if they insist on a true Roman-style gladiatorial combat to the death: historically accurate and half of the problem sorted for good.

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The spectacle of a Zuck, Musk fight!

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Do they have frickin’ lasers on their heads???

Dr Evil GIF

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Assuming this is an MMA thing, they just end up curled into a ball punching each other in the dick until everyone gets bored and leaves, right? Then a lion saunters in and eats them both, we all move on with our lives? Maybe the lion gets to run Twitter?

I think the minister of culture is onto something.

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Will 200 cats do?

https://www.the-colosseum.net/around/gatti_en.htm

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I’d feel a little sorry for the cats, but needs must.

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The Southpark Jimmy v Timmy fight was a send up of the big fight over putting in the glasses in They Live. Seems appropriate.

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alas, Norris would probably be rooting for Pedo Guy, since Norris is a raging Christian Nationalist…

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Forget about tradition and history, I say copy Robot Wars with fire pits and robots with chainsaws and flamethrowers.

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