Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/09/29/thoughts-prayers-app-mak.html
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Spot on.
Regretfully, I can’t post this to my facebook high school crowd, or I’d get lynched. Then they’d have to post thoughts and prayers for me.
Eh - IMHO it’s bad form. A bit assholey.
Whether you’re religious or not, there is often little to nothing one can do to help directly with a tragedy somewhere else. A prayer or thought at least shows one cares enough to reflect on it for a second, which is more than most people do. I’ve seen atheists say they will keep something in their thoughts, which is a form of mindfulness.
When used to belittle the grief processing of people who are genuinely powerless to help or mitigate the problem, then yes.
But when “thoughts and prayers” comes out of the mouths of people who clearly do have the power, and authority, and responsibility to take action that could mitigate or prevent future tragedies; when “thoughts and prayers” becomes a substitute for taking action…
…then it’s spot on!
As someone who survived stage four cancer, I say bring on the assholerey.
We need more reminders in this society that just offering thought and prayers isn’t doing shit to help people. The people who offered me thoughts and prayers during chemo were not the ones bringing me weed brownies to help kill the chemo sick. They were also not the people coming over to my house to scoop cat shit so I could keep my kitties and not get Toxoplasmosis because my immune system was so weak. Additionally they were also not the people who came over to my house to help cook and clean because my red blood count was obliterated from the chemo and I couldn’t walk without being out of breath, much less clean.
The people who offered me thoughts and prayers sent cards saying that their entire congregation said a special prayer for me last Sunday at church. Whoop-dee-fucking-do
Who needs common-sense gun laws when we have Thoughts And Prayers ™, amirite?
Man, they could sell so many to Republican politicians…
That is the 800 pound gorilla in this room, for certain.
I hope people notice that I “liked” this topic, to show much I get it, and how much better I am than than the people in the video.
Precisely. Offering thoughts and prayers is a way for people to comfort themselves. If they want to help, they can help. If they’re powerless, and they absolutely must say something, they could try not making it about them. A simple sorry that happened to you, that fucking sucks at least acknowledges empathy without pretending to help.
I liked your comment and the topic to show I’m better than you. Who will have the courage to climb over my self-righteousness to the higher moral ground? Who will be the King of the Signalling Hill?
I’m going to hire OtherMichael to create and run my virtue signifier bot so that my virtue is signified first and most! (Now let me just figure how much money I have to take from what would have been my charitable donations to make this happen…)
Occasionally, though usually there’s at least a charity or aid organization one could donate to. And even when we can’t do anything in the wake of a tragedy there’s often something we could do to prevent similar tragedies in the future.
In the United States “thoughts and prayers” are usually extended to victims of mass shootings, who would be better served with better gun laws. Samantha Bee did a pretty good job skewering the “thoughts and prayers” responses that every mass shooting brings up.
Since it’s for a good cause, why not start a GoFundMe? That way you can use donations to hire lawyers when I sue you to protect my charity brand.
Awesome idea. I also need more giant painted portraits of myself and I hear that having your own registered non-profit charity is great way to pay for them, a way you might be fined a little if you are caught, but that’s pretty much it because misuse of tax law has to be proved with intent, and if you’re just an ignorant buffoon you can claim that you didn’t know what you were doing was wrong. So that’s perfect for me. plus having my own charity is a great way to signify my virtue without actually having to do anything charitable. Or even use my own money. It’s win-win. For me.
I was about to bring out the pitchfork but after watching the video I returned it to its gilded cage for use in another thread.
Good stuff.
Extra credit for anyone whose prayers are addressed to a deity which, if it lived up to the hype, could trivially have just prevented the problem in the first place.
This same idea came to me for an app idea. Then I saw it was already being done many times over. Then I said I shouldn’t let that stop me – I can do it better like Zuckerberg. Then I got lazy.
I’ve heard “thought and prayers” used much more often in relation to many more things besides mass shootings.
As for “better gun laws” that many people brought up - that is akin, IMO, to people wanting “better anti-terror” laws - which gave us the TSA, the Patriot Act, the “no-fly” list, and increased xenophobia and Islamophobia. Oh - and TRUMP, who is riding high on the fear mongering.
So while more gun laws might be “doing something”, much like the above examples are “doing something”, don’t confuse “doing something” with “doing something that makes it better”. But I am sure we don’t need to go into specifics at this point.
The problem is people are petrified when dealing with the realities of death and decay. You’re absolutely right that something as simple as doing some common household chores is much more useful than any thought. My Uncle was diagnosed with ALS and I still haven’t contacted him. I am not especially close… he lives 10hrs away so I can’t make him a casserole. But I should be doing something, and I don’t know what.