Three ways fearful parents are ruining Hallowe'en


#1

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#2

I live in Colorado. I have seen warnings about kids receiving marijuana candy. Seriously? If that really happens, I would buy a costume REAL quick and the world’s largest candy bag.


#3

I was thinking maybe it’s time for “Old Fashioned Chocolate Coated Razor Blades” candy


#4

seriously. that shit’s too expensive now to waste it dosing children.


#5

But but but THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! Sputter-sputter.


#6

Oh that pesky government! Always gettin in the way of free people doin their freedomy free stuff.

Reason TV almost has me convinced that there shouldn’t be any government at all!


#7

The wussification of America continues. Seriously. Suck it up kids. Back in the day, when we found a razor blade in an apple, first we’d say “Who the fuck gave us fruit on Halloween?”, and then after T.P.ing the shit out of their house, yard, and landscaping, we’d give the razor to dad, who’d give us a long swig off his beer in trade for the offending object. Kids these days are such dumbasses.


#8

My friend Jason Willis played a part in an amazing Halloween safety film in 1977. Note how the scary witch turns into the most boring dressed-up kid you could imagine.


#9

I saw that too. Every single instance that I saw was of the “Now that edibles are legal, people may try giving them out to unsuspecting kids on Halloween… AND YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THEM FROM REGULAR CANDY!!! ZOMG! ZOMG!” hyperbolic and very theoretical variety of headline/trash “journalism”. No instances of documented cases etc…


#10

Do they make much edibles in candy like forms? I’ve seen brownies, cookies, cake, banana bread (just looked at it.) tincture, and of course hash dabs. I’ve seen sorta gooey THC chewy bars even, but not really candy per se. Maybe I’m not hanging out with the right people.

Anyway, a more valid concern harm-wise would be people handing out those fentanyl lolipops. Although I’m not worried for the same reason as edibles, they’re way too expensive to waste on dosing kids.


#11

I think you’re missing the point–it’s the parents who are trying to insulate their kids from risk and adventure. I’m sure a lot of the kids want to roam wild and destroy the world with a gleam in their eyes.


#12

Poison? No. Pins, needles and razor blades? Well, yes.


#13

I’m surprised no one has come out with a candy-logging app; take a pic of the candy as you get it, and it automatically records the GPS of the home. Tie that in to a criminal records database, just in case. Eat candy and if anything is awry, you know where it came from.

Aside; I spent every Halloween in my youth assembling hand-made caramel popcorn balls, wrapped in wax paper. We would hand those out to kids in the neighborhood. I have no doubt that 90% of them ended up in the trash, even though we included our phone number in each one. When I think of all the hours I spent unwrapping caramels, popping corn, and rolling it all in hot little ball (with inevitable 1st degree burns), it makes me nostalgic.

@nixiebunny; that video is actually surprisingly practical and level-headed. Given the time that it came out (and the not-implausible danger of candy tampering) it all looks like sound advice, not fear mo gearing. Compared to Fox News, it’s downright lax.


#14

“detailed followups in 1972 and 1982 concluded that virtually all the reports were hoaxes concocted by the children or parents.”

Looks like one needle case listed in 2000 that was verified to not be a hoax.


#15

I grew up in the 80s in an intensely paranoid little town in Ohio, a suburb of Columbus. We weren’t allowed to dress as or make crafts of anything ‘paranormal’ in school – no witches, ghosts, monsters, or devils. Only pumpkins and creepy trees were displayed in classrooms. Lots of kids dressed as pirates.

The town itself officially did not celebrate Halloween. Candy collection came anywhere from a week to a few days before the 31st, in mid-afternoon, on the city-designated Beggar’s Night.

To this day, I have no idea what this was meant to achieve; did the city think that creeps and spooks and Satanists attacked kids on Halloween night?

Edit: I found this article that may explain why.


#16

I know of a liquor store that sells tequila lollipops (complete with a real worm) and other alcohol-infused edibles. I would think there’s a greater danger of someone giving those to kids, and those items have been around for a really long time. And yet I’ve never heard anyone express concern about it. Go figure.


#17

My father ruined Halloween by taking some of my best candy and eating it himself. That was his way of “checking” to make sure it was safe.


#18

Any sane parent knows that cars are the biggest threat to children, on Halloween or any other night. It’s just that on Halloween they’re more likely to be wearing masks or other accessories which can affect peripheral vision, making accidents more likely to happen.

A lot of TV shows have a Halloween episode in which some crime happens to a child walking alone because the perpetrator is wearing a costume and so isn’t recognized as a threat. That could be one source of the paranoia. Reality is, on Halloween night children are almost always in a group, whether with a parent or not. A child going out trick-or-treating by themselves? They’d rather stay home.


#19

Yes, Reason is a pro-capitalist libertarian rag, and capitalism is horrible. But their criticism of some forms of authoritarianism is pretty solid.

Also, governments themselves do a pretty good job of convincing me that there shouldn’t be any government at all - I don’t think Reason TV has a tough job there.


#20

Yeah, I guess you’re right. Letting plutocrats have even more control and free reign to increase their dollar hoards than they already do would be all to the good. :-/