Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/09/20/top-conservative-lawyer-public.html
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Oh, FFS. Seriously?
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This is serious. Now that we believe the victim, it sounds like we might need to postpone the confirmation vote for a couple years while we investigate these allegations to find the true perpetrator of this crime.
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I really don’t see the striking resemblance; they look only as much alike as any two average white teenagers with dark hair…
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I’m convinced, case closed! It’s true, the architect that designed that house had his eyes gouged out after it was built and the blueprints were burned, never to be replicated.
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FFS, amateurs.
Why not go the full Days of Our Lives and bring in the long lost evil twin?
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Whelan fig-leaves his accusation thus:
That fig leaf is going to drop right off the moment Chris Garrett sues him, followed by a settlement of (I hope) 3X this Whelan scumbag’s annual salary.
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Well Chief Inspector, until we meet again - the case is solv-ed!
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I guess this is what desperation looks like.
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Ok, lets have the FBI investigate this since there is some doubt as to what happened. It might delay the confirmation a couple of weeks, but no big deal right?
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“It was his evil twin all along!”
Fucking bullshit excuses…
ETA:
Jinx, I owe you a coke.
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You’ve got to admit, he put some work into this one.
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Welp…Nancy Drew comes to the rescue again.
I can’t believe what I read in that guy’s twittle thread.
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I don’t see why this is batshit crazy. One of my questions has always been how well did she know him to identify him at the time. One drunken asshole can look much like another if you don’t know them well.
Next up: For Chris Garrett to step in and have a few things to say. Lawsuit time?
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I have to admit - they do look a lot alike. I really expected this to be a much further stretch than that. But it doesn’t really prove anything, nor will it change any minds.
At any rate, someone call Garrett up. Does he want to confess to assaulting someone years ago? Otherwise you have just a coincidence.
I’m willing to admit i have know idea what the truth is. Though maybe we should nominate someone who doesn’t have any allegations against him.
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Clones.
The Boys from Brazil Chevy Chase.
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I guess we’re talking about a nominee least likely to be nominated by Trump.
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I don’t think this should be dismissed as batshit. Not entirely, anyway.
The conclusion that Kavanaugh couldn’t have been there is clearly erroneous. He says it was Garrett, Judge and Smyth, then Ford’s friend rounds out the list of four other attendees that Ford said were there. No Kavanaugh! But Ford didn’t say there were four others attending. She said there were four boys attending. Kavanaugh, Judge, Smyth, and an unnamed fourth. I suspect Whelan just gave us number four, as well as the genuine location.
Garrett hosting the party makes a lot of sense, but the idea that Whelan pieced it together through detective work is laughable. Are we really supposed to believe that he went through property records to find the circa 1982 owners of houses within a certain radius of the country club, then found those who had teenage children, and then somehow cross referenced those with people who were friends of Mark Judge at the time?
No. It’s far more likely that he was told who was at the specific party at which the incident took place, as well as when and where it occurred, and then set about trying to reverse engineer some exculpatory evidence.
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This is following the familiar Sandy Hook/9-11/Hillary conspiracy theory pattern. If some errant factoid is barely remarkable, you can blow it up into something that is “suspicious” and “worthy of investigation.” Then, don’t investigate, but just leap to your intended conclusion. Then, saturate with repetition, repetition, repetition, oh, and repetition (chanting in a crowd is preferred). Until the laughably flimsy accusation itself is the “proof.” Eg, “the emails!”
Sad.
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