Needing any qualifier is concerning, since it implies there was a larger one otherwise.
My point.
TMI, man. Way TMI! You just keep your āpointā to yourself, now. 
Iām not in a position to do it much anymore, but I used to flip that on itās head by calling guys out when they were droning on about something I find boring. Like, āyeah, I donāt really care about engines, can we talk about something else?ā
If they donāt feel obliged to listen to me vent, I donāt feel obliged to listen to them go on about something I care nothing about, either.
Honestlyā¦it is kind of difficult. Itās of course not terrible or wrong, but itās hard to just say āoh, sorryā again and again when you really want to help. I guess itās an important lesson in empathy to realize that it is helping, much more than annoying someone with armchair strategy.
Iām really bad at just listening 
I want to help make things better for the person venting. I have to try to remind myself to just listen and ask questions particularly when the person is my kid.
I think the dynamic the comic @milliefink posted is slightly different. Less trying to help than offering condescending solutions from on high, implying he is better than the woman. Like her problems are nothing. Iāve seen that in action with certain kinds of men.
ETA; and his insistence she needs his help, when he clearly knows sheās venting. My issue is partly that I need practice telling when my kid wants to vent vs. wants help finding a solution. Iāve started just asking ādo you just want to vent for a bit? Iām here to listenā kind of thing
One of the best things my female friendships have taught me.
In so many different scenarios, too.
Sounds helpful indeed. And NOT like what a lot of clueless men want to do instead.
And donāt get me wrong, by clueless I do not necessarily mean careless, or unsympathetic. I just mean that it can take a lot of men a long time to realize that another person is venting because they want to get something off their chest, or maybe process somwthing vexing thatās happened. And that theyāre not complaing because they want or need solutions right now (most of which theyāve already thought of, thank you).
The flip side of that comic:
Isnāt this just another version of the old trope of men being āobjectiveā and women being āsubjectiveā? That we need men to tell us what is actually wrong in our lives, because weāre just too emotional to see reality?
Iām not sureā¦ I think it could be the flipside in a way, if itās interpreted as a parody of the simplistic way that men often see women who just want to vent?
I mean, guys do often want to jump to solutions, like, āThe problem is obvious-- itās your job! All you need to do is start searching for another job, DUH!ā But the woman might respond, āYeah, of course there might be a better job out there, but we know itās not the right time right now for me to search for one, so can I just express my frustration for awhile, and let that out?ā
Meanwhile, the guy could be thinking, Well, we know the solution is to start searching for a new job at some point, so what are you complaining about? We already KNOW the solution! Which is removal of that job/nail in your head.
His pointing that out would be an example of, as the cartoon puts it, him offering an āannoyingly pragmatic solution.ā
But that points to the Ur-socialization of women: worrying about everything all the time, never ceasing even after the solution has been formulated, or even enacted.
Not sure what you mean by that. Are you saying that you think women really do irrationally worry about everything all the time, never ceasing even after the solution has been formulated, or even enacted? Because theyāve been socialized to do so?
Or that men misogynistically think of women that way?
And I donāt think either the cartoon or the video are about women worrying. The women are depicted expressing pain, or frustration (which is a form of pain).
honestly I disliked the comic a bit because of this. i donāt think i so much mind when some one actually has useful input. i mind that people interrupt me, assume their input is useful, and havenāt done the listening part first so the advice is half-cocked and/or irrelevant due to undisclosed context.
this happens a lot. iām sure iāve done it myself too some time.
i donāt think itās because men have great pragmatic advice and women just want their emotions coddled to though actually.
ā¦but i do think men interrupt women a lot more than they think they do.
I was reacting to when you said this:
Men in the States are socialized to compartmentalize like this; women are socialized to have to think of everything at all times because something could go wrong, or need a change of plans, or at least a change of priorities, and of course thereās second-guessing after the fact if anyone questions any part of it, etc. Itās exhausting.
I also wonder how many menās mothers have really bad mental health problems that arenāt getting addressed. I know a lot of problems in my family came from the fact that āwomen worry too muchā covered for really crippling mental health problems that never were appropriately addressed. Men would neglect things to an extreme (say drinking while diabetic) and then write off the womenās concern as āshe worries too muchā but then the same women would have irrational panic attacks due to unresolved trauma and whatnot and that would be used to also say āsee women just worry too muchā so the whole thing went on until a critical mass of people went crazy or died.
We really need to stop with linking all psychological and emotional states primarily to gender-identityā¦ but people just canāt stand thinking like that for some reason and I really donāt get it.
Oh, thatās funny! Definitely makes the case of how the poor guy feels in the situation. The example is a bit overly āin your faceā (pun intended), but what can we expect from a guy in this situation, eh? 
I know itās taken me a long time to get Mr.Linkey to the point where he can recognize venting and validate feelings. But leading up to this, there were a lot of those, āitās the nail,ā type conversations. Really frustrating at the time, but funny in retrospect, because he really was trying to be what I needed. He just didnāt know yet.
Thatās how I interpreted it. OTOH, itās also the futility of āhearing someone outā for the 100th time when they wonāt take steps to fix the problem. And as @TornPaperNapkin implies in her post, thatās not something that falls neatly along gender lines. Men complain instead of address the root cause as much as, if not more than, women. Iād argue we all do it, at some time or another.
ETA: And full disclosure - Iām a āOK, letās fix it!ā person of the worst kind. Not only do I jump to fixing things, Iām also an engineer, which doubles the problem. I like to think Iāve learned to listen first, fix second, but I still get frustrated if we never get to the second part.
