This version is my favorite, less jarring than bits of different sources stitched together.
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the thing is, it’s going to be a long time before i get to the LOC to see it, what with covid and all. i have a copy of Harmy’s Despecialized and restored edition, and it’s so beautiful and perfect it’s like i’m seeing it for the first time again. it’s gorgeous. a work of love and art. it’s all i need in the meantime.
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The crazy, it burns. I could just scream . . . 
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It is so weird how conspiracy theorists always have to overcomplicate things. If some coterie of conspirators wanted to start fires, there are many easy ways to do so. But no, say the conspiracy theorists, it has to be space lasers.
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Must kick start tin foil hat factory,
demand is great~
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As if the pandemic and MAGA riot had never happened, the GOP is already back at courting Trump for his support. If that isn’t enough of a signal of what to expect further down the line, a GOP consensus on what to do with Green should tell us something loud and clear.
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I know, right? And always behind the curve.
Space Laser? Pfft! That’s so last century. Madame, I present to you the flamethrower drone!
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I miss the days when stories like this were largely confined to satire.
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Well you see, it’s the perfect crime! It leaves behind no accelerant!
There’s just the problem of being being able to see a giant beam of light from 100 miles away.
TBH, the perfect forest fire crime would actually be a small coleman grill with wayyyyyyy too much lighter fluid on it. Put some steaks nearby on a picnic table and let her rip. Bonus points for leaving hummer tracks in the dirt.
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Telekinesis also leaves behind no accelerant and is much cheaper and easier to use than space lasers. They just always gotta overcomplicate things.
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I don’t recall ever seeing an objectionable post from you @Papasan.
Anyway, it’s really good having you back on the BBS.
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I hear ya’; my posts aren’t all winners but they’re attempts at humor and I’ve had a few flagged and removed that confused me. I understand someone can game the system by using multiple accounts to flag something, but to then have a moderator back it up is doubly confusing.
I hate having to provide a laugh track ( /s ) to show that something is a joke.
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Lasers are sometimes used for communication on satellites that operate in the polar regions
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Agreed. PG&E and most all private utilities have harvested profits while neglecting infrastructure investments, leading ultimately to destruction of the commons. But somehow “Jewish controlled space lasers” makes more sense than “unencumbered human greed bolstered by lax regulations.”
Sure. 
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I’m glad that the spaceships in the Mel Brooks classic are kosher, ha!
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You are adored by far more happy mutants than a few minor scoundrels. I am happy you’re back.
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As Chris Rock says, “That train is never late.”
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You can’t spell “conspiracist” without “racist.”
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