My daughter has been able to forge mine more convincingly than I can write it since she was seven
It constantly baffles me that in an age of microchipped payment cards, ultra-secure touch-free electronic wallets, and weekly security crises, judging whether you wrote your name in a consistent style is still considered a method of judging if youâre you or not.
Especially since all the electronic signatures weâve signed over the last decade are sitting in vast databases just waiting to be hacked.
On the other hand, my ability to write my name in a consistent style does at least allow me to work out whether Iâm me or not.
Many years ago, I was in rural England backpacking around when my wallet was pickpocketed. Iâd kept my ID and a stash of travelersâ cheques in a money belt, and went to the closest town bank to cash some. I was freaked out, given the theft, and my hand wobbled a bit when i signed my name. Despite my photo ID, they refused to cash the travelers cheque, saying I hadnât gotten my signature right. I offered to try again and they said âno, weâre not letting you practice forgeryâ. I had to get money wired from America to get a meal. Signatures are completely ridiculous things.
Shit.
My badâŚ
I apologise for our bumpkins, but itâs fairly typical even nowadays. Our small town doesnât blink at Apple Pay or Android Pay, but you donât have to go far westward before you encounter people who work cash only. And they have those silly anti-forgery pens to use on ÂŁ20 notes. Iâm afraid that part of your offence was possibly to be entering bank while not from around here.
I imagine youâre quite right. I wasnât Local!
The charming coda to the story came a month or so later; I received a package in the mail from the local police offices. Carefully wrapped in paper and tied with string, inside was my wallet, with none of the contents missing at all. A handwritten note accompanied it, explaining that theyâd found it discarded in a trash bin, and wanted to apologize, hoping that the incident wouldnât prevent me from visiting their town in the future. It was signed by several people, likely the entire office.
This is an example of why I am so glad to live in a part of the world where the police force is part of the community, not an alien invader.
I imagine that whatever Trump is actually worth financially will be somewhat continent on the outcome of some of these suits
Fuck. Mineâs significantly different every time.
That requires a
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