I wasn’t but now I am.
13 Likes
Well, I’m certain a well positioned augur of either or both of these versions would’ve yielded a providential examination.
5 Likes
Wait, so her new book is called Inside Donald Trump? 
19 Likes
The pages are really soft.
9 Likes
I found the appendix inflammatory.
27 Likes
Come on everybody, give him a break and let him enjoy his secret little guilty pleasures.
1 Like
When you’re a doctor, they let you do it. You can do anything! Grab 'im by the bussy!
10 Likes
This is the kernel of truth behind “Trump derangement syndrome”
Though I only ever saw MAGAts crying “Trump derangement syndrome” when people responded with outrage - to something overtly outrageous. Which caused a lot of cognitive dissonance for me in trying to understand it. (I never really paid all that much attention to things like Trump’s secret hospital visit - it wasn’t clear what it was about, but all the stuff we did know about was so awful that the unknowns quickly disappeared from my attention and memory.)
I finally came up with an analogy that made sense of it for me: “table-shitter derangement syndrome.” (Which feels especially appropriate in this context.) You’re at a restaurant, having dinner with some people who secretly hate you, and someone runs in, jumps up on your table and shits on it. You sputter with outrage, but your dinner companions laugh and clap and mock you for getting upset, even though it was their table he shit on as well - all they care about is that something happened to make you upset.
13 Likes
Given what a prim, prissy, homophobic prude Pence is, I wonder if he even wanted to know about anything ass-related regarding Trump.
2 Likes
But, did they find his head?
10 Likes
You could sell that shit on ebay!
3 Likes
The procedure revealed Ted Cruz’s head was lodged deep in there.
8 Likes
Was this the one that was at 2am? In which case, it seems highly unlikely.
Even a robot would take the day off sick rather than do that job.
2 Likes
This must be the only time Trump has not wanted attention in front of a camera.
6 Likes
I bet all those hamburders really clogged that colon up good
2 Likes
They located the GOP, but it was lodged too deeply to remove.
7 Likes
Long-ass thread on why it probably wasn’t a colonoscopy (they require advance planning) and why journalists shouldn’t be “stenographers” repeating uncritically whatever they are told:
13 Likes
Fake news. Trump’s colon gets examined regularly via dental x-rays.
5 Likes
The scope was only 10’, so they didn’t go deep enough to find him. Probably would have had better luck from the other end, if they could get past Lindsey Graham.
7 Likes
