Turkey terrorizing college campus

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Haha. City folk.


I’m sure this is far from the worst havoc Wild Turkey has ever caused on a college campus.


How dangerous is a wild turkey?

I imagine those turkey talons could scratch you pretty good but I’ve never known a turkey that could really deliver a Liu Kang style bicycle kick.


This is why police departments need automatic weapons and armored vehicles.

Oh, and wasn’t there something on the international news the other day about Turkey and terrorism? I seem to remember air strikes.


oh, they can mess you up. ever been tore up by a house cat? imagine a 35 lbs house cat that can fly. oh, and you don’t know where those claws have been :smile:

ironically my wife and i have had to use Animal Control around here a few times, and they have been awesome. and for domestic animals it is no kill.


There most definitely is an app for that:


Two legged kicken chicken!

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My thoughts exactly!

Pretty sure that’s a hen. No snood and no real caruncles. It’s got a beard though, which isn’t unheard of in hens. Maybe three years old? On the other hand it could just be a breed I’m not familiar with that doesn’t express the standard gender traits as strongly? I dunno…

I’ve recently started raising bronzes and they are some of the calmest most placid birds I’ve ever dealt with. No matter what happens to them they just kind of sit there and look confused.


Turkey terrorizing college campus

And yet they still gave it a gun and a badge.


Danger lurks among the fowl! Terrible turkeys, or stories of them, are a more common thing than I imagined:

Those are big powerful birds that can run faster than a person (well so does everything, but I digress) and take off vertically with big booming flaps of their wings.

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Think of a wild turkey as a slightly less aggressive velociraptor with slightly smaller claws/spurs.
Also keep in mind: hunters have to aim for the head to kill a wild turkey, as body shots will often just be deflected by their feathers… oh and full camo is required because their eyesight is so good.


Ah no. Not that part. The rest yes. They do aim for the head with shot guns because the long neck affords a larger area to kill the bird. They are large, tough birds, and blasting the breast for of shot in search of the other vitals messes up the meat.


I live in a area where turkey hunting is common and have spoken to my fair share of turkey hunters. So while I admit my statement is based entirely on anecdotal evidence, I stand by it.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s wherabouts could not be confirmed.


Man, I want to know what college you went to where the students were drinking that?

At mine it was craptastic boone’s farm strawberry hill, zima, and the cheapest Vodka that Ralph’s had…


I’m currently attending a University of Wisconsin school. I’d like to suggest the turkey come down here and attend our university for a few semesters. Given the recently heavily slashed budget for the UW system, this may well be the sort of student we’ll be attracting soon anyway.


He’s just crabby 'cause he’s molting.