Relevant.
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Now that’s a legit need. We have pondered ways to safely/sanely/sanitarily keep a bit of coconut oil above room temperature on the nightstand.
Don’t cross the streams. Just don’t.
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Surely it would melt when applied to the Relevant Areas?
Unless you’re a lizard person, that is.
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In the colder months, it tends to fall off the Relevant Area long before it melts.
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“I love you, light”
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All it needs is a pearl necklace…
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Maybe this:
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Eggplant?
A college boyfriend told me his mom had suggested to him that he use banana peels…
So, true to form, I see 
that whole project sounds hilarious!
It was cold in that room.
And to do a little showing off of the new word I learned on BBS recently - imagine if you had to use taqaandan* to turn it off…
*Voluntary, forced detumescence.
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Ewww
Because she was sick of washing his grody socks?
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I think there was some concern about chaffing…sounds like it was a…erm…busy time in his life.
Plus, one of his guesses was it was a sneaky way to get him to eat more fruit. 
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Well a banana is better I guess than a post-fap cigarette!
(Unless it has a sudden um, extra sauce. 
)
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They call it, mellow yellow…
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Yeah, but not all dudes understand why other dudes do that. 
I hadn’t thought about them in years, but I used to inspect and service a few of these things:
Not quite as phallic as I recalled after reading your excellent tale, though.
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Oh, and imagine how awkward if every time you reached for a banana from the fruit bowl your mom was like, “nudge, nudge, wink, wink. you have fun, son.”
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“Well, there he goes again with the banana cream pie.” his mother said.
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“I haven’t had a wink of sleep since the bris!”
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