Turns out flying squirrels can fly while holding giant pine cones

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/12/29/turns-out-flying-squirrels-can.html

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Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a pinecone outta my hat!

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This is actually a young squirrel being trained to fly. The parents will later reveal that the pine cone was never magical, and the power was in him all along.

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What is your name?

What is your quest?

What is the average air-speed velocity of a squirrel carrying a pine cone?

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I wouldn’t say an opened up pine cone is heavy, though it is cumbersome to carry in your mouth.

What are they doing with them? Opened ones don’t have seeds.

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Arts and Crafts back at the nest? Winter is long and dull.

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This week, on a very special Hoarders:

Narrator: “This flying squirrel collects pine cones.”

Thomas: “Well I found a neat looking one a few years ago, and since then I started picking up any pine cone I could fine.”

Thomas’ mother, Judy: “We love Thomas, but he has a problem.”

Thomas: “I really don’t think there is anything wrong with it. It’s a hobby.”

Judy: “Thomas, maybe we could get rid of the ones that are damaged on one side, let’s start with those.”

Thomas: “No, I need those! Those are my special ones!”

Captain Wilson of the Squirrel Fire Brigade No. 29: “Sweet Jesus, this massive pile is one big tinder box. One errant cigarette and the whole place will just go up!”

Helper One: “Holy bleeep… the smell. It’s like a pine tree died in here and then fungus and insects slowly consumed it over time.”

Judy: “Oh my god, what is that? That isn’t a pine cone.”

Helper Two: “Whose body is that, Thomas?”

Thomas: “None of you understand my art!”

Announcer: “Hoarders, New this Tuesday at 8, 7 central.”

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It would be an improvement over some of those shows.

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Leaked: The new DARPA-Squirrel brigade.

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But how fast can an unladen flying squirrel fly? How about while carrying a coconut? What about African and European varieties?

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My, what big nuts you have!

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The Men Who Stare At Squirrels

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This entire thread is full of win.

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It’s not surprising - it’s not so much “flying” as “controlled falling.” I find that I can fall just as easily with or without a pine cone in my mouth.

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That’s not a giant pine cone. It is normal sized.

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You should read the article. It’s incredibly sophisticated flying that through application of technique to a dynamically, constantly adjusting anatomy results in “the aerodynamic features of heavy transport planes, agile military jets, movable-rotor helicopters, flexible-wing parachute gliders, and many innovations we’ve yet to achieve.”

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Nothing up my sleeve!

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It’s practice for the bombing run.

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“Ponderosa or Lodgepole?”

“I don’t know - aaargh!”

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So it’s not just fancy falling. It’s really, really fancy falling.
Seriously though, it’s quite interesting.

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