Uber's list of weird things people left in cars

Originally published at: Uber's list of weird things people left in cars | Boing Boing

3 Likes

I kinda like where this going…

Breast pump and a white cowboy hat
10lbs of hamburger meat
Burger and banana fridge magnets
A dart that says “unleash the beast”
Ball gag and stethoscope
A windmill…

6 Likes

A large straw?

4 Likes

A windmill

how is that even possible neil degrasse tyson GIF by StarTalk Radio with Neil deGrasse Tyson

2 Likes

For a second, I thought this was the annual “What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?” list.

6 Likes

A single blonde strand of hair

Are you sure you left it in the cab?

this is v. weird thread (not complaining)

2 Likes

That one made me slightly sad. It must have been a very special strand of hair, to somebody.

1 Like

Is there a Reddit for people who find things lost in Ubers and fit them into their rectums? (or maybe recta?)

3 Likes

Made me sad too. Perhaps she was afraid of her husband noticing the fact that it was missing.

2 Likes

I hope not.

1 Like

What is a Billie Eilish ukulele? If you play it, do you have to mumble the words?

1 Like

I found a bottom denture on the ground near my office. Figuring it was valuable (to whoever lost it, anyway) I put an ad on craiglist’s lost-and-found section.

I got a huge number of replies that were all very obvious gay hookup attempts. Very weird.

Stupidly I had tried to be funny in the ad, said whoever replied had to do a Cinderella’s slipper thing, and “put it in their mouth to see if it fit” to claim the denture, which was apparently the wrong phrasing to use.

7 Likes

I was parked outside a store on the telephone one night when a guy suddenly opened my back door and sat down in the back seat. “Hey, man! Wrong car!” I yelled at him, afraid he was trying to rob me.

He got out, then wandered around the dark parking lot looking at cars. I rolled down my window and asked if he needed help and he said “You’re not Uber, are you?” I told him I wasn’t and he said “Man, I was just took an Uber to the dispensary but it looks like he left me!”

I was in a good mood so I offered him a ride home. He was completely stoned out of his gourd, but I managed to find his apartment complex and drop him off. As he got out of my car he said: “You know what the worst part is? I left my tacos in that Uber!!!” Then he stumbled away, never to be seen (by me) again.

11 Likes

This is really just a Mad Lib: After last night’s fare I found a _____ in the back of my ride.

1 Like

4 Likes

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

4 Likes

Wait these are just Midjourney prompts

Supreme underwear

I want to know what makes it superior to all other underwear and who gets to make that call.

Also:
“I left my Supreme underwear in your car”
“I don’t think so. This just looks like regular underwear.”

I think the list is a combination of things found by the drivers and those that passenger called about leaving in the vehicle. If the root was on the hair were they going to clone the person.

1 Like

Oh, dark. I hadn’t thought of that.