Unpleasant millionaire insists on bothering women sitting next to him on planes

I think she is of the Hampshire Penises; a lovely, old money family.

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I am a man (the “El” is not just fanciful) and would wager he’s doing this only to women, I agree…

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I’ll pay him 20 bucks to put a paper bag over his head. Better make that two bags.

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Even before the pandemic, I used to wear face masks on planes. Along with an eye mask and headphones, it was the perfect way to not get bothered by people who want to chit chat on a long flight when my only agenda is to get as much sleep as possible.

You want to give me 100,000 to take off my mask? I’ll only take that offer if he offers to off himself if I catch COVID. There is no sum of money that would make up for my losing my ability to breath without issues. You only have one life to live and it is far too short to cave to for Smuggie McSmuggington for money.

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The person sitting next to me in first class refused $100,000 to remove her mask for the entire flight. No joke. This was after I explained they don’t work. She works for a pharma company.

“Why can’t I get any respect after I tried to mansplain medical stuff to someone in the medical profession? Crazy broad wouldn’t even let me buy her!”

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Too bad that he wasn’t carrying that claimed $100,000 on the plane. It’d be fun to tip off TSA and the DEA that a juicy target for civil asset forfeiture was going to be passing through.

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It would be fun to collect the cash without worrying about whether he’s going to try to weasel (apologies to weasels) out of it. The way I read it, I think the refusal is possibly simply not believing them (or as someone else pointed out, if you’re in first class 10k or 100k is not enough to ignore the strong Dr. Evil vibe)

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It’d be fun to tip off TSA and the DEA that a juicy target for civil asset forfeiture was going to be passing through.

Ohhhh. You… you are a smart one.

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“Drugs? Nooo! This is just my public harassment money.”

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I would tell him the mask was due to my recent exposure to ebola and tuberculosis, and ask him if his offer was still good.

I would take the 100K then spend the remainder of the flight quoting the Cochrane review authors he is “citing” including their retraction 3 days ago saying that the language originally used has misled people into believing masks are ineffective, and that people are misinterpreting one result from that of the entire analysis.

Then I would go one by one through where the papers reviewed were called “low confidence” " very low confidence" … Etc through all 14 papers.

Lastly, I would explain how the paper including the choice quote picked up by ideologues in fact had a “mask group” in which 40% of participants wore masks, and “non mask group” where 13% wore masks, there was no independent verification of mask usage, only self reporting, and, in fact, it was a study focused on “how people react to being told to mask” and not about efficacy of masks.

Oh and in that study btw they still had an 0.80 OR (showing a 20% improvement for the mask group, despite it not being designed to study infection reduction by masks).

Then, assuming his transfer came thru, I would buy wifi to pull up the 2 meta-analysis papers from 2020 and 2021 with high confidence which show, among other things, a 0.05 OR (20x reduction in incidence) for N95 masks, and read the papers start to finish, using my best kindergarten teacher voice.

At the end, I would offer him my spare mask and thank him for putting a camera at the bottom of a mouse.

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