US governors vow to protect citizens from mass-shooters if they are Syrian


#1

[Read the post]


#2

When you want to make things worse, call in the NRA, it’s a guaranteed disaster.


#3

America is for Americans shooting Americans!


#4

I promise also to protect you from oppressive socialized healthcare regimes.


#5

I swear, I was heartened by that headline at first because I thought someone was actually trying to protect Syrians from mass shooters.


#6

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2015/11/17/3722968/nra-texas-rep-no-syrians-gun-access/
As Austin’s communication director puts it: “And scene.”


#7

If one was curious as to the requirements for non-citizens to buy a gun at an FFL:

https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/nics/federal-firearms-licensees/ffl-tip-sheet-for-non-u.s.-citizens-purchasing-firearms-1

Not sure where refugees fall under the banner here. The requirements seem to be for people who immigrated legally or are in the US for work.


#8

what about time travellers from the past who somehow get access to modern weaponry, what I mean is - will the governor protect me from Assyrians?


#9

I’m not visiting any state unless its governor promises to protect me from Silurians.


#10

Well, Jeb! Bush, obviously. Idiot time traveler from {unknown}


#11

Why do I get the impression that he has a memo template with which he does a global search and replace on {BADGUYS}?

Oh yeah - it’s because the replacement is always plural, never singular. Pluralisation can be tricky sometimes.


#12

So, the Syrian refugees can still potentially join the police force? Because most of those shootings aren’t mass…


#13

I’m currently posting from the safe confines of my doomsday shelter.


#14

Would you like to talk about upgrades to your fish livestock room in your bunker? I’ll pencil you in for Tuesday.


#15

Thanks for all the fish!


#16

The next round of pan galactic gargleblasters is on me.


#17

Oh that Santraginian sea water!


#18

My family is opting out of the government protection racket. Sorry!


#19

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