US governors vow to protect citizens from mass-shooters if they are Syrian


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When you want to make things worse, call in the NRA, it’s a guaranteed disaster.


America is for Americans shooting Americans!


I promise also to protect you from oppressive socialized healthcare regimes.


I swear, I was heartened by that headline at first because I thought someone was actually trying to protect Syrians from mass shooters.

As Austin’s communication director puts it: “And scene.”


If one was curious as to the requirements for non-citizens to buy a gun at an FFL:

Not sure where refugees fall under the banner here. The requirements seem to be for people who immigrated legally or are in the US for work.


what about time travellers from the past who somehow get access to modern weaponry, what I mean is - will the governor protect me from Assyrians?


I’m not visiting any state unless its governor promises to protect me from Silurians.


Well, Jeb! Bush, obviously. Idiot time traveler from {unknown}


Why do I get the impression that he has a memo template with which he does a global search and replace on {BADGUYS}?

Oh yeah - it’s because the replacement is always plural, never singular. Pluralisation can be tricky sometimes.


So, the Syrian refugees can still potentially join the police force? Because most of those shootings aren’t mass…


I’m currently posting from the safe confines of my doomsday shelter.


Would you like to talk about upgrades to your fish livestock room in your bunker? I’ll pencil you in for Tuesday.


Thanks for all the fish!


The next round of pan galactic gargleblasters is on me.


Oh that Santraginian sea water!


My family is opting out of the government protection racket. Sorry!


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