My leak-proof coffee cup lid leaks. 
The only time my son doesnāt talk is when heās asleep, and then sometimes, he still talks.
My Siamese cat refuses to purr out loud.
[Is all this random enough? Am I doin this rite?]
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Wasā¦ Alcohol involved? 
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It better have been.
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Yet another language peeve is when people sprinkle ābecauseā throughout their communications. Maybe they feel that it provides a sense of structure or continuity, but that only seems to work of it elucidates causal relationships rather than obscuring them.
For example:
āAre we out of cereal, because I am going to the store?ā
āNO, we are out of cereal because we have eaten it all. It sounds like the opposite - that you are going to a store because we ate the cereal.ā
My ex-in-law uses ābecauseā as readily as giddy children might use āand thenā to recount their story. So each thing in the string of pearls seems to be the cause of the prior one. And when I ask them how something happened ābecauseā of some other apparently unrelated thing, they get confused, and often insist that they had never said ābecauseā, even as I count twenty instances within a five minute talk.
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Cause and affect popo, cause and affect.
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I donāt know where else to put this, so Iāll put it here.
I had my first experience with synesthesia the other day, and it. was. wonderful.
No idea why/how it happened (no chemicals involvedā¦), but Iām pretty happy it did.
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The hack I use is to never ask for unsweetened tea, instead I say:
#Iced Tea, NO SUGAR.
Ā
This solved the problem for me. It works nearly every time, and is even more effective in drive-thrus than in sit-down restaurants.
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I said something online yesterday about the difficulty of composing a good cover letter for a job application and a dude thought maybe I needed the concept of a cover letter explained to me. Complete with egregious grammatical errors. ātell them your willing to share your skills with the team.ā
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You know, I donāt even have a cover letter. I should write one, in the style ofā¦ (Shakes magic eight ball)ā¦ Dylan Thomas.
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Whoever he was!
Perhaps you could write it as a simple desultory philippic.
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It would certainly stand out. I could also attempt terza rima.
ā¦
Oh jebus, Dylan in terza would be an uncrackable encryption method.
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The āI am askingā in between cereal and because is implied.
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Not nearly as much as Bob Dylan in terza rima
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Wait, are we back to the inappropriate places to urinate topic again?
(I didnāt read the article!)
Gotta go code some inotify tricks now, later yāallā¦
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When youāve been paying Every. Last. Cent. towards paying down that particular debt, and then you check on that particular debt, and it hasnāt moved nearly as much as it seems it shouldāve.
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Moths ate the collar on my suit jacket.
Shrug.
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Of course, the fact that they are asking me a question goes without saying. But also I am perplexed as to why their reasoning for asking is relevant when they are planning on leaving in thirty seconds anyway. So I would understand that they were not merely trying to engage me in small talk about amounts of cereal?
What bothers me about it is that I suspect the main reason it is āimpliedā is because people are quite lazy in their speech. Many seem to put more of a priority into maximizing what they can perhaps gloss over than they do trying to make themselves understood. Even in enunciation some people try to shave off every consonant and stop they hope that they can get away with.
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My random trivial vent:
Thereās a grungy little cafeteria-style chinese place near my house with super cheap prices for adequate food. But the lady there constantly overcharges or tries to. Sheāll try and throw in an egg roll and charge for the combo that I didnāt ask for. Or like today she rang up 6.75 for what should have been 6.60 (each item is 2.20, clearly advertised on the sign). Itās such a trivial amount I would feel stupid pointing it out, but dammit, it aināt right! I wish there were some small sneaky way I could let her know Iām on to her shenanigans without appearing petty. Itās weirdly fun that Iām locked in this battle with her that she has no idea Iām fighting.
Also, I need to keep reminding myself not to order the orange chicken. It looks fine, but itās just little wads of unchewableness.
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