Video Shows Dolphin Stealing iPad from Woman at Orlando SeaWorld

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/08/09/video-shows-dolphin-stealing-i.html

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“BLECH! This fish tastes HORRIBLE!”

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Well, clearly the lady didn’t ask permission to take Flipper’s photo, or even ask him to sign a consent form.

Friggin’ paparazzi.

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Dolphins are just aquatic wolves with good PR.

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an apple a day keeps the doctor away

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Your ipad is fine, madam. Just let it dry naturally for several days but first, take the battery ou… oh, shit. Disregard.

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Even dolphins don’t like vertical videos.

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I love dolphins. I spent an entire day at Sea World San Diego, and just about all of it at the dolphin exhibit. I fed them. For a buck you could buy some herring to feed 'em, so I spent a bunch of money on herring that day. It was a bit of a struggle to fight off the seagulls that would dive down in an attempt to steal the fish from the dolphins. So we figured out a method. The dolphin would pop his head out of the water, and just as the birds dove down, he would go back under. Then, as the birds ascended again, he’d pop up quickly for his fish. It was cool - we faked the birds out. Dolphins are so smart.

And, while I understand both sides of the argument, I tend to agree with you about keeping dolphins (and other animals) captive for our entertainment. There’s something fundamentally wrong with it. So I went and swam with wild dolphins - in their natural habitat. That was infinitely better than Sea World.

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frickin’ dolphins… coming over here and stealing our stuff… they are thieves… and murderers… and rapists… some, some dolphins, I assume, are good…

We need to build a wall around the ocean…

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So long and thanks for all the gadgets.

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He just wanted to take a selfie to one-up that pesky macaque.

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Just wanted to play some Pokémon go, and imagine the Pokémon as people to capture.

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I wish there were dolphins everywhere ready to snatch the iPads out of the hands of idiot tourists who insist on walking around using iPads as cameras.

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The ex-girlfriend of a friend used to have a peculiar job in San Diego. When asked in common company she would say, casually, that she worked with dolphins. If pressed, she would say that she worked at a government facility that trains the military’s bomb-sniffing dolphins. Pretty awesome job.

However, as to the specific details of her job, she told me that dolphins, like any higher-functioning mammals, tend to get a bit cooped up if held in a pen for too long. When held together in a group, they would get extremely aggressive. They would fight, they would act out, etc.

And they would attempt to perform bizarre sexual acts on each other. It was this last aspect that she was responsible for. She would, on a daily schedule, masturbate the dolphins to keep them docile and focused on their training. To her, this was just a job like any other. To those whom she was comfortable revealing this detail to, we had a difficult time wrapping our brains around it all.

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If not for the well known story of Margaret Lovatt, the girl who lived with a young male dolphin for psychedelic scientist John Lilly, and did him similar umm, services, I’d say you were trolling us. But she might have been trolling you.

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