Watch a woman get a massage with a huge blade, mallets, and a hammer

Originally published at:



Trying to figure out how the condoms at 0:12 fit in…

1 Like

I don’t speak their language, but I’m pretty sure it translates to something like
“Next, I am going to massage your cooter”
and her reply “Nope, not gonna happen buddy”.


This could be a new growth area for Gwyneth Paltrow to expand into on Goop. Sledgehammers, rubber mallets, machetes, ball peen hammers, and cleavers could be marked up 10 or 15 times over their price at the hardware store and marketed as massage tools.

She might want to look into tripling her insurance coverage first though.

1 Like

So this old guy bangs on hot chicks for a living? Cool. cool.

1 Like

on a massage table really… you think a professional hardware massage would take place on two sawhorses and a 4 x8 piece of plywood.


I wonder how painful it really is and how much of her reaction is just acting. Seeing if her body had any bruises the day after would be helpful.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that this really isn’t good for the body. I mean ranging from “not beneficial” to “actually harmful.” There are certain belief systems (including some parts of Western medicine) in which there are notions about how the body is “supposed” to be arranged that fail to take into account natural variation and end up pathologizing it. Efforts to “correct” it don’t do anything besides create some bruising and swelling.

More than anything, I’m reminded of Terry Pratchett’s take on phrenology:

It works like this. Phrenology, as everyone knows, is a way of reading someone’s character, aptitude and abilities by examining the bumps and hollows on their head. Therefore - according to the kind of logical thinking that characterizes the Ankh-Morpork mind - it should be possible to mould someone’s character by giving them carefully graded bumps in all the right places. You can go into a shop and order an artistic temperament with a tendency to introspection and a side order of hysteria. What you actually get is hit on the head with a selection of different size mallets, but it creates employment and keeps the money in circulation, and that’s the main thing.”


It very much reminds me of the motorized pulverizers that I’ve seen all over online ads last year:

Whoa, I just realized that she does that, she must have been a Government contractor in a prior life. $300 hammers for all…

My Russian relatives are into some weird massages with hot cups or birch branches. Oddly I’d prefer any of this over “regular” massage where some stranger touches my body. Big nope on that.

50 Shades of … Nope

My friend owns a massage parlour so I can say they are not out of place.

My question was: Who put the cleaver on the condom shelf? WTH?


kill bill training GIF by hoppip

1 Like

Calling Chuck Tingle: “I Was Literally Pounded In The Ass”

Hot Emma is making some pretty poor healthcare decisions.

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed after 5 days. New replies are no longer allowed.