Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/05/watch-anderson-cooper-call-trump-an-obese-turtle-on-his-back.html
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I was in the middle of doing something else with the teevee on as background wallpaper when I heard the Coop lay this one down. My head spun to look at the screen so rapidly that my neck is still sore. I only wish Danny Thomas had been around to deliver the perfect ‘spit take.’
I’m not sure if the Drumpf machine was listening, but his sorry ass appearance tonight has ensured the media gloves are not only off, but these folks are finally swinging with no pretense of politeness.
It’s about freakin’ time…
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I never considered this before but… CAN a turtle be obese? Like, where would the extra flab even go?
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It all goes to the hips.
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Do you make up these insults, Mr. Cooper, or do they write them down for you?
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From allturtles.com:
because of the tortoise’s shell which cannot store fat, the only places that fat can be deposited are the tortoise’s armpits, groin, knees, and neck.
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The math checks out.
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That’s brutal 
By the way sorry about off-topic, but does anyone else here also think that Anderson Cooper looks awesome?
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If Trump was a turtle it could.
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He read it on Clitter.
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Alright. I’ll be the spoilsport who points out that fat is the least of what this president should be shamed for.
Size of hands seems fair game, because that is a uniquely Trumpian obsession.
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He’s the healthiest president in American history. He said so himself.
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And I’m not helping.
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They can get a surprising amount of visceral fat though. Not stored in the shell, but stored in the shell.
leads to pretty gross turtle/tortoise necropsies. (nobody likes greasy gloves when you have sharp bone edges and power tools in use to get into the bastards)
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