Watch: Panicked toilet paper hoarders get in physical fight with another customer who wants just one pack

Some time ago I mentioned Kentucky native and eco warrior Mike Roselle.
He posted a gem about the current madness:

Tissue paper has become currency and currency has become tissue paper.

I’m thinking some stores are gonna relocate their prime liquor to the toilet paper shelves so they can lock up all the TP.

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Until they all come after you with their sponges.

Et tu, Brute?

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I’m embarassed to say this is from Australia. Our panic buying started just a little before the USA’s and has been weirdly focused on toilet paper (wtf), dried pasta (yeah… Ok I guess) and hand sanitizer (yeah I guess that makes sense).

Most stores have had limits on purchases per customer for a couple of weeks now, I think it came in just a couple days before this story first hit.

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This is what I don’t get. In some parts of the world they just wash their asses. They must think westerners are insane.

We still have modern plumbing and running water everyone

Edit: honestly it’s 2020 and westerners should start washing their asses as a cultural norm. We have the technology. To irrigate. Our asses.

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Toilet paper is bulky. Constantly restocking toilet paper might just mean that the store can’t restock more important things-- like FOOD.

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Part 2 of the toilet paper shortage saga.

Less hysterical journalism from a more civilized time.

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I posted this on the Corona Virus thread bit it probably belongs here to…

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Clearly assault and battery is illegal and immoral. The interesting question is whether taking an item out of another persons cart is immoral and/or illegal. I am sure if it was a cop’s cart they would find something to charge but I can’t think of a law that applies.

I would argue hoarding is immoral, and taking from a hoarder’s cart is also immoral. Two immoral actions don’t make moral so I can’t justify taking from the cart, even though I want to. I find myself curious what a libertarian would do.

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You can still buy newspapers?!

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I thought that they wove palm fronds into strips the width of toilet paper and rolled them up. Or was that the Goodies on the Costa Monger?

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Apropos, just in case:

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Bit of a dearth of tree leaves in my neighborhood, what with it being late Winter and all. However certain species of birch have a bark that peels off easily.

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Sorry about that! Where I live (Southern California) many trees have leaves year round. Some of them, probably originating from colder climates, are very confused and even flower at odd times. Your foliage may vary…

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“But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose"
La vie de Gargantua et de Pantagruel François Rabelais

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Pro tip: White pine is much less prickly than spruce.

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That’s the policy in the UK now, and Sainsbury’s have just started limiting all grocery items to three per customer. There’s still a hell of a lot of panic-buying/hoarding going on though, sadly.

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Imagine my insensate rage when the manager at my local Sainsbury’s told me I could only buy three peas at a time!!!

peas

That’s not even a pod full!!!

(It is good to see that something is being done to reign the panicking arseholes in a bit)

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The less food being consumed means less need for toilet paper! See, we’re winning the War on Virus, people! :us:

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Ha! I did wonder how their policy would work with fruit and veg, and having just returned from there I can report: not well. Apparently people are hoarding bananas and potatoes (but not courgettes or tomatoes ¯_(ツ)_/¯ ).

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ouch.

Even I’m not quite that daring buddy, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Toby tree leaves are the best btw. Don’t ask :sweat_smile:

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