Bit of a dearth of tree leaves in my neighborhood, what with it being late Winter and all. However certain species of birch have a bark that peels off easily.
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Sorry about that! Where I live (Southern California) many trees have leaves year round. Some of them, probably originating from colder climates, are very confused and even flower at odd times. Your foliage may vary…
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“But, to conclude, I say and maintain, that of all torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs. And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose"
La vie de Gargantua et de Pantagruel François Rabelais
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Pro tip: White pine is much less prickly than spruce.
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That’s the policy in the UK now, and Sainsbury’s have just started limiting all grocery items to three per customer. There’s still a hell of a lot of panic-buying/hoarding going on though, sadly.
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Imagine my insensate rage when the manager at my local Sainsbury’s told me I could only buy three peas at a time!!!
That’s not even a pod full!!!
(It is good to see that something is being done to reign the panicking arseholes in a bit)
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The less food being consumed means less need for toilet paper! See, we’re winning the War on Virus, people! 
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Ha! I did wonder how their policy would work with fruit and veg, and having just returned from there I can report: not well. Apparently people are hoarding bananas and potatoes (but not courgettes or tomatoes ¯_(ツ)_/¯ ).
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ouch.
Even I’m not quite that daring buddy, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Toby tree leaves are the best btw. Don’t ask 
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Noam Chomsky pointed out that it was an explicit policy decision in the post war years, for the US to consume as much petroleum as it possibly could. Yeah, sure, industrialize like crazy, outproduce war-ravaged Europe… but beyond that, use up as much fossil fuels as possible so that it would not be available for the rest of the world to use -and possibly catch up to the US again.
In that weird patriotic frame, gas guzzling SUVs are just one more way to “keep america great”. And all the many other spin-off consumer atrocities that cheap oil makes possible.
The best fibers for toilet paper, sanitary napkins, and diapers, all come from old growth timber. We are figuratively wiping our asses with trees that were centuries old.
As horrific as Covid 19 is, I really want the losses to matter, I want America to stop being the bully that steals everyone else’s lunch money. This could be the moment when America stops being so ugly.
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A friend of mine did that at Scout camp one summer. I will let the reader infer what kind of leaves he used.
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Leaves of three, let it be.
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Someone said, I don’t know who, “a person is smart, people are dumb.” Seems appropriate for this occasion.
there’s a list of rationed goods by the cashiers at my safeway
includes ground beef, pasta, milk, chicken, toilet paper, eggs, plus a bunch of other stuff.
In the past, I’ve never exceed the limit, because I live a block away, and use the store as my larder. Now that they simply have run out, I’m reevaluating some of my strategies…
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