We Stand on Guard: in 100 years, America seizes Canada for its water


#1

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The US sics its robot drone army on Canada’s water supply in "We Stand on Guard"
Big Vitamin bankrolls naturopaths' attempt to go legit and get public money
#2

Sure should be “southern neighbourgh”, no?


#3

100 years? You mean in the reign of Donald IV? Optimist.


#4

Derp! Right you are!


#5

Hey… water from Canada… now there’s an idea!


#6

The Resource Wars! I know this one!


#7

Obligatory link to a Canadian source of the book.


#8

Great review of a book I’ll probably get.

But setting the occupation in Canada changes its complexion, literally, stamping white faces underfoot, provoking howls of anguish in English (and sometimes French). It’s embarrassing how well this juxtaposition works, because Afghanis and Iraqis suffer just as much under occupation. But countries that have suffered under dictatorship are somehow harder to stay outraged about when dictatorship gives way to bombardment and failed states, through some shameful subconscious relativism.

Or just through plain old “racism.” Which I suppose can be a kind of shameful subconscious relativism. Which in this case is also bitterly ironic in a “Will we never learn?” way, considering that in the US, those who were “Arabic” used to be perceived as “white.”


#9

Oh, come back, proud Canadians
To before we had TV
No Hockey Night in Canada
There was no CBC

In 1812, Madison was mad.
He was the President, you know.
He thought he’d tell the British
Where they ought to go.

He thought he’d invade Canada;
He thought that he was tough.
Instead we went to Washington…

And burned down all his stuff!

And the White House burned, burned, burned
And we’re the one who did it.
It burned, burned, burned,
While the President ran and cried.
It burned, burned, burned,
And things were very historical.
And the Americans ran and cried
Like a bunch of little babies,
Wah, wah, wah!
In the War of 1812.


#10

At JUCO, my Honor English teacher was a green card carrying Canadian. We liked to razz him about it. One time said something like, “You know, there has been some speculative fiction about a war with Canada, and Canada winning.”

I said something like, “The only way Canada would win is as we were climbing over the piles of broken bodies to plant the American flag, God struck us all down with lightning.”

I later told the story to my friend Shawn, who was a big strategy war gamer. He said that actually Canada is highly defendable as it is all lakes and mountains. So it wouldn’t be as easy as you would think.

So - there’s that for you.

ETA - He did tell us about the brave, but failed Dieppe Raid in WWII. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dieppe_Raid


#11

If the US invades Canada, it’ll be for their demon like delicious qualities of Canadian Bacon, and nothing else.


#12

#13

I have four words for you: Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.


#14

That’s a “thing”?


#15

Soon, it will be OUR thing.


#16

Not only a thing, but even connected to a Great Syrup Heist. I love Canadian crime, even the big ones are cute.


#17

Your “campaign” slogan, no doubt.


#18

That movie is so underrated. At my high school, the presence of equal numbers of Canadian and American expats led to it being a cult hit at least in our circle. Maybe it’s a little uncertain of its audience, but watching it during the Dubya years it seemed oddly relevant.


#19

Don’t forget the cheese heist!


#20

Of course in Boston they had the great molasses flood.