Weaponized baseball cap




What is that? A batleth?


Great, now we’re only going to be allowed to bring 3 ounces of baseball hats on the plane.


“Very Important: when you finish with your Gotcha and you want to replace it back inside your hat, you take your hat off…”

Subtext: Do not replace the Gotcha while wearing the hat and in the process gouge out both of your eyes.


One of my all time favorite websites…

“One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.”



Extremely relevant:


It seems rather impractical, but perhaps it’s just for the effect, like with these folks.


There also exists a baseball-style hat called a “Sap-Cap” which is a hat with lead shot sewn in to make the hat into a sap (if you’re unfamiliar a sap is a sort of soft cudgel for bashing some poor sucker in the melon).


it makes the wearer a different kind of sap as well.

these toys are so ridiculous. my favorite is the tactical kubaton pen with a flesh-gouging crown on one end. i think they call the crown a “DNA Catcher”, which is only barely a euphemism. it’s useful for those situations where you’re mugged while holding a pen and don’t have time to grab any one of the other dozen toy weapons on your person.

i would just love to see someone go to a police station ranting about the “attacker” they disabled at the bank, and proffer their gore-encrusted pen as DNA evidence. i’m sure they’d be impressed.


We can weaponize anything!


I hate to be that one guy, but brass knuckles are illegal in many jurisdictions, and I think these might count.


Depends on how they’re defined. They may or may not include those four-finger rings, the “cat-head keychain”, or even some handbags with a particularly evocative grip.


or you could make a Millwall Brick - with some change rolled up in a newspaper and pee’d on.


I often wonder how highly “the number of people who believe they will be attacked” is correlated with “the number of people who regularly get in fights”…




…but will it match my garrote shoelaces and chakram bracelet accessories?


Probably not as strong as you think, as one person with that belief can get into an awful lot of fights with numerous other people who never saw it coming.


Lost it at the tissue box shotgun. I’ve achieved my hearty laugh for the day, thanks.


Daaaaaaaamn. Good one.



I can’t be impressed by any hat-based weapon where you can’t twirl the hat at a statue and chop its head off.